Firestarter (2022) Quick Review.

For every classic film adaptation, Stephen King has he will also let his stories be made or remade by pretty much everyone. As an example here, a terrible Blumhouse produced a remake of one of his early efforts. Ryan Kiera Armstrong plays the role that was originally taken by Drew Barrymore in the mid-80s, as a girl who can start fires with her mind. Meanwhile, Zac Efron’s star has fallen far enough that he is reduced to playing the dad in the sort of E their protection If it wasn’t for the names attached this would have gone through the Blumhouse streaming gristmill without a second thought. the. The fact the story involves a family with telekinetic powers may have been relevant in the 80s. Especially considering it also has vaguely defined themes. of government experimentation and exploitation typical for these kinds of narratives. Unfortunately, we are in 2022 after the 20-year birth. life, death and potentially absorption of the Fox. X-Men Movie, canon and Stranger Things taking a bunch of Stephen King aesthetics and doing a King-style narrative better than he can. Going back to a very vanilla brand version of these tropes is only going to produce subpar results. The visuals. and cinematography are also unbelievably muddy making it difficult to see what is going on at certain points. Add To this, the fact this pointless Remake pieces out at 94 minutes. lacking any genuine conclusion to wrap up the story properly. Everything about the film screams of something that will coast on half-assed name recognition. It might be alright as the kind of mildly distracting, subpar genre effort that gets churned out on streaming services every single week. With nine hours of Stranger Things. only days away as of the time of this writing It might be best to wait for the genuine article if one is desperate to see these 80s nostalgia tropes. This writer is genuinely not sure if this or Umaa with Sandra, Oh can be considered the worst mainstream adjacent horror of 2022 thus far. They are similar in that they both feel projects that were cut down to the absolute bone and then fart out with the minimum level of potential quality
3/10