Challengers (2024). Tennis Fan Review.

NOTE.  It might be best to look back at this author’s coverage of Netflix’s Break Point before coming to this review. It might be not entirely necessary but is relevant to some of his thoughts on the film being discussed here ( beyond simply being pieces of tennis media aiming for a level of crossover success.)  

As a fan of the sport of tennis Luca Guadagninos Challengers was an interesting prospect. Following three fictional players across two generations ( Zendaya Josh O’Connor and Mike Feist)  as they quickly develop a love triangle throughout playing a Junior U.S. Open and reconnect 20 years later as the two men are scheduled to play each other in the titular Challenger tour final as Feist who has now married Zendaya attempts to make a comeback to Grand Slam winning form. This was tennis’s next big swing at crossover attention. This writer happily took the chance to see it early ( although not by the time the review was published)  and went in with somewhat muted expectations after watching the ATP/WTA fall on its face with its last attempt at crossover media. What did Guadagnino and his team deliver?  

  Thankfully if one knows what to expect they can have a really good time with this. Elevated trash in all the silliest ways possible the chemistry between our three leads is borderline evaporating off the screen directly into the laps of the audience. All of this is underscored by terrific throbbing Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross synth score which is some of their best and most evocative work amongst a typically excellent catalogue.  

 The film offers a more accurate picture at the Chalenger end of the tour (full matches available online and often streamed by the ATP themselves via YouTube) given that the central Chalenger match appears watched by an audience of roughly 20 people but is played as if the participants life depends on it in a way that fits with the tone the film is going for. In the junior-focused flashbacks, the action takes place in random nooks and crannies, unmarked hotel rooms and player restaurants around Flushing Meadows. Very much as in the actual sport junior  Grand Slams represent huge opportunities for the players but they are ultimately just a very small cog in a much larger machine they are surrounded by at every corner. The various agents and stakeholders in their lives will want to propel them to the absolute top level with brand deals, endorsements and public appearances firming up their future and sporting prowess. This is best emphasized with Zendaya’s character in this portion being a clear analogous in recent tennis history to someone like Laura Robinson or Eugenie Bouchard. It’s hard to pick out an equivalent example for our two male leads. In part because the real-life male tennis stories of this nature that have gained traction in recent years have tended to have something of a darker undertone. No one wants to be compared to Bernard Tomic or 

Nick Kyrgios ( much as it could be argued the former would make for a good biopic given his life reads like something of a movie script.)   

That’s before you even mention how the film tackles balls being hit. The ironic thing here is the presentation is eerily similar to the previously mentioned Break Point with the borderline parody-worthy use of slow motion, excessive fast cutting and the general sense that everything is as heightened as it possibly could be. That said it’s much easier to buy into in the context of a Hollywood film compared to something that’s meant to be an active promoter for the sport featuring actual players playing legitimate matches boiled down to this exact approach. There are also cool moments where the filmmaking team can actively utilize the narrative’s fictional quality to its advantage. Emphasised perfectly by the fact that the film features first-person perspective shots for both the returner and the ball itself   All of it is decidedly overwrought but silly enough for this viewer to buy from the start and throughout. 

Challenges won’t be for everyone. It’s far too trashy to be embraced entirely by a willing audience. That said the people whom it is for will have a great time. How far this reach extends beyond the domain of “thirst” social media accounts remains to be seen. If the film sounds like something one might be into it’s worth a watch. Hopefully, this will bolden the ATP/WTA horizons to show that tennis does have a future on screen. Hopefully, it doesn’t look anything like Netflix’s Break Point. 

8/10.  

Scoop. (Netflix) Movie Review.

Here is another example of dramatic features covering incredibly recent events where one can argue how necessary they are. In the case of Scoop the Netflix dramatization of the infamous bombshell 2019 BBC Newsnight Prince Andrew “ Pizza Express in Woking”  interview the answer as to the necessity of this thing as the piece of work on its own merits is not at all. Not to say the retailing is without some merits in the performances. Gillian Anderson Rufus Sewell and Billie Piper are excellent as the three main on-camera and behind-the-scenes personalities. The makeup and costume work transforming Sewell into the titular embarrassing liar is particularly impressive. That said the screenplay ( as might be expected) offers no particular insight or angle as to why one should be watching this as a narrative feature as opposed to the actual footage of the genuine article.  Exemplified by the fact that when it gets down to portraying the titular interview on screen it simply utilizes sections of the original transcript.

 It’s not like Netflix wouldn’t be willing to play the film more comedically or” go there” so to speak. Releasing just over a month earlier on the platform Girls5eva season 3 features a reoccurring bit where Sara Bareilles’ character watches a Crown parody that’s effectively a skit focused on the prince’s soft toy obsession that we see recreated dramatically by Sewell as part of the narrative here.   The entire thing feels distinctly like Netflix or looking for the next Peter Morgan but like seasons 5 and 6 of Morgan’s  Crown before it the final product here lacks any purpose for truly existing beyond the aforementioned excellent performances. You are better off simply rewatching the original Newsnight footage as broadcast.  

5/10.  

Bob Marley: One Love. (2024) Movie Review.

 In theory, a musician biopic should not be the kiss of death to creativity., There is potential to still exercise something unique and creative within the boundaries of whoever you’re covering depending on what leniency any stakeholders might afford The thing is that the approach to the critical part of that statement is that in the majority of cases, the estate of the titular musician or celebrity will want the safest and sanitized presentation. Bob Marley with the unbelievably forgettable One Love is the latest to fall victim to this in a post-Bahamian Rhapsody world.   It’s certainly not for lack of pedigree.  Frequent modern Martin Scorsese collaborator Terrence Winter co-wrote the script. It’s directed by Ronaldo Marcus Green who delivered one of the better films in this subgenre with Will Smith’s King Richard (Oscar slap aside)  and counts Brad Pitt among its executive producers. There is a warning sign right from the very start with the opening not being able to show any of the conflicts or context that led up to the 1976 Smile Jamaica concert that forms one of the backbones of the film narrative thanks to the mandatory PG-13 rating ringing and the exposition has to be delivered via text. CinemaSins and the sub-genre of criticism it spawned have done a great deal of damage to overall media criticism. Still, it’s hard not to look at the opening of a piece like this and overhear a distant voice in the back of the viewer’s mind deliver the word “reading” with the appropriate “ping” sound effect accompanying the tone of voice. 

Kingsley Ben-Adir and Lashana Lynch are two superb actors and are trying to give the material some weight in their performances as Bob and Rita Marley but  The material just isn’t there. Add on some truly atrocious dialogue straight from the “subtlety is for losers” school of obviousness and you have something that might possess a certain amount of engagement in hitting the conventional beats to certain audiences. To others, it comes across as a hugely sanitized missed opportunity with all its edges rounded off. One might say this is exactly how members of the Marley family might have wanted it. It doesn’t make for a particularly compelling viewing.  

4/10.  

Constellation (Apple TV +) Season 1. Review.

 NOTE Having started this season without seeing any marketing beyond the fact it was sci-fi from Apple TV + and starred Noomi Rapace   Having sat through all eight episodes it’s hard to know exactly how much to give away in this review from a synopsis perspective but ( Like the show itself)  This viewer will keep it as vague as possible. 

As the years progress, the Apple TV + series catalogue may be small but it has always come across to this viewer as the riskiest and most conceptual of any other streamer. They do have a couple of brilliant offerings but a lot of their material comes across as big swings that might quite not work but deserve at least some credit for taking a big swing. Initially, that’s where things looked like they were going with their latest attempt to translate hard sci-fi to streaming TV.   Constellation stars Noomi Rapace and Jonathan Banks as two generations of NASA astronauts who after Rapace is in an accident aboard the  International Space Station comes back to realise she is in an alternate universe with one version of Banks’s character from this universe potentially being responsible for developing the technology that blends the two universes in which the two versions of our both central characters live entirely separate lives.

 We have of course seen stories like this before That said on paper this is still an ambitious premise with plenty of potential for drama and intrigue. As one progresses through the season they may come to realize that the whole thing comes across as cold emotionless and methodical but there’s still a fair amount to be invested in terms of the universe mechanics and world-building in a way that did manage to keep a certain level of this viewers attention for the first six episodes. The kind of show that’s more interesting to discuss on forums like Reddit than actively watch. That is until one gets to episode 7 and the show has to rely on its incredibly undeveloped and cold emotional side to deliver any sort of effective payoff and it doesn’t work whatsoever. There have been plenty of shows in the past exclusively built to function as mystery boxes ever since Lost hit it big worldwide but these eight episodes represent one of the most soulless examples this watcher can remember. The audience knows next to nothing about these characters as people beyond endlessly running in circles in terms of how their presence justifies the ill-conceived universe-blending mechanics. The all-set-up and 0 payoff approach finally where is out its welcome and this viewer distinctly lost patience. If one he’s a fan of distinctly impenetrable emotionally distant hard sci-fi they might get something out of Apple’s efforts here. That said only those with the slightest bit of interest in that description need to put themselves through the act of actually watching this season.  

4/10 

Kung Fu Panda 4. Movie Review.

In a way, this author doesn’t feel the best person equipped to talk about the drop in quality of the titular franchise here with this entirely unnecessary 4th instalment. Having seen every DreamWorks   Animation theatrical release’s first run for the last 20 years it’s not that the original Kung Fu Panda trilogy is awful. They are perfectly fine but don’t extend a great deal beyond that. It came across as one of those series reliant on an amusing title premise and one of the best celebrity voice actors of his generation in Jack Black. Thus with Part 3 already having served as a relatively solid conclusion the prospect of more always seemed like a boardroom-induced move. Especially after it was released and even the fans of the original trilogy claimed it was a downgrade on all levels.  Does it really go that far in devaluing one of Dreamworks’s major franchises with a large crossover audience? 

 Not really but for the most part that’s because the newest entry doesn’t try that hard In either direction mostly being more of the same. There are some entertaining action beats and it’s generally very inoffensively watchable in exactly the kind of way one would expect from mid-tier DreamWorks Animation. It’s in the smaller details where you do notice the downgrades and cost-cutting measures that are kind of unavoidable if one has seen the previous entries. Outside of Jack Black’s return and a couple of legacy characters siloed off into their own side quest the new villain voiced by   Viola Davis instigates a plot that involves bringing back some legacy villains. That said the creative team only got Ian McShane back to record new lines with the other roles being voiceless. Along similar lines, the  Furious 5 are mentioned but are also given wordless roles meaning the film is not out of pocket for rehiring any of the incredibly famous original voice actors or even getting sound alikes.   Much is the animation still looks more than good enough to go theatrical if it wasn’t for the presence of Black still voicing the lead the new film could comfortably fit and is arguably more at home on streaming.  . 

 Honestly, the best And most lasting impression the form has to offer might be the Tenacious D cover of Britney Spears …Baby One More Time.  This is credited to the titular duo but it’s hard to see what Kyle Gas even does these days beyond simply dancing around in the video.  The second Jack Black animated film in a row where its best moment involves Black doing karaoke (  Peaches would technically count as original but it’s deliberately  a nonsense karaoke song.)  Since the cover is readily available on streaming there’s no need to see it in any contacts within the film as it is simply over the end credits.  

5/10.  

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire. Movie Review.

There’s an entire separate article to be written about the career of Jason ( son of Ivan) Reitman and how he eventually used up all of his indie crossover credibility eventually coming crawling back to Sony  And getting saddled with another attempt to revive his dad’s signature film/ franchise.  The film he made was of course 2021’s Ghostbusters: Afterlife. Mild bit of context for this writer talking about its newly released sequel Frozen Empire. Underneath all the expected legacy sequel fan service and the ethical questions involved in attempting to revive Harold Ramis on screen This viewer will defend Afterlife as a fairly solid entry into the franchise. It effectively soft rebooted the series as a pretty effective YA adventure with solidly likeable new characters and an engagingly nuts-and-bolts valiant spirit. Very much Ghostbusters for the Stranger Things generation ( beyond the  very  literal casting of Finn Wolfhard as the brother of the new next-generation Spangler family.)  This viewer would not have been opposed to seeing a line of sequels with this new cast as the potential to expand further was very much there. We now have Frozen Empire which Reitman may not have directed but he still has writing and production credits on.   Despite mixed to negative buzz this viewer still went in optimistic. Would the creative team here be able to build on this solid groundwork laid by the previous film? 

Not really. The first thing to say about Frozen Empire is that it is not really a sequel to Afterlife. Pull Rudd Carrie Coone Mckenna Grace and Finn Wolfhard are still here and remain solid within these characters. That said they are joined by pretty much every surviving cast member possible in several original locations Everyone is getting completely subsumed by just how much unnecessary plot and padding there is in the latest entry. Of the three surviving Ghostbusters two look like they’re having a surprisingly solid time slotting back into their original roles ( while Bill Murray remains Bill Murray) but their inclusion feels like a course correction where one wasn’t entirely needed. In terms of recent Hollywood blockbusters, it’s still far more functional than a lot of legacy sequels of this type ( Jurassic World Dominion says hello) but it feels like something of a regression given the promise of the last film. Everything has the feel of a major Hollywood studio blowing its load throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks.  Entertaining at times but coming across as a random pitch deck for a Ghostbusters cinematic universe. Likeable actors Kumail Nanjiani, James Acaster and Patton Oswald seemingly show up because they are the kind of performers one expects to potentially appear in a modern Ghostbusters sequel. 

The entire thing is a massively overcooked mess that despite a few bright moments represents several steps back in a franchise trying to find an effective new direction.  Given the film’s apparent relative underperformance whether Sony will try to reboot one of their most valuable IP yet again remains to be seen. This viewer would not put it past them though.  

5/10.  

PS. If you want a truly bizarre ( and arguably quietly more successful despite gaining a lot less initial acclaim) nepo child Hollywood career story from the Reitman clan have a look into Jason’s sister Cathrine. One of her creative outlets was an incredibly weird, very of its time slapstick movie review YouTube show with a rating system consisting of puns based on her surname and nepo baby status. It feels increasingly like a fever dream this viewer had in the years since initially released  The Initial  100 episode run was still online for many years but now appears to have been deleted.  

Mothers Instinct. (2024) Movie Review.

For a film with so much relative star power in its two leads (Anne Hathaway and Jessica Chastain), it’s surprising in theory how quietly this thriller has been shoved out into the world with no warning or prior knowledge, the trailer suddenly appeared in front of UK theatrical screenings and played for about a month before the film’s release. Having seen the final film when it was released in UK cinemas it’s not hard to see why everyone involved with this production is appearing to quietly wash their hands of it. It’s not very good

A hacked-to-the-bone melodrama in which Hathaway and Chastain play two suburban mothers and friends whose relationships slowly disintegrate after a tragedy befalls one of their children. You’ve seen a million variations of this type of narrative on the big and small screens and this incarnation adds nothing new. If anything it’s weird to see that in a modern context given the looming presence of those Jean Marc-Valet-directed HBO seasons (Big Little Lies especially) still having so much influence on this genre years after they aired and following Valet’s passing in 2021. Cinematographer turned director
Benoît Delhomme is remaking his own French film in English here and it’s fair to say that if this thing did not have those two leads in Hathaway and Chastain it would have gone straight to streaming in a heartbeat. Slightly too overcooked in its theatricality to sell as a genuine thriller but far too scared to lean on the campy energy it flirts with around the edges to sell to an audience who might get something out of that. The whole thing distinctly feels like a failed awards bait play that those behind it think they can still sell to a willing audience theatrically thanks to the presence of the two leads. Add on a very obvious formula ending that doesn’t take any major deviations from where these types of stories typically go and the frankly absurdity abrupt cut to credits at exactly the 90-minute mark this final product screams of a studio washing its hands of a misconceived failure. Unless one is really into a specific brand of melodrama or one of the two lead actresses they need not bother investing any time in this forgettable slop.
4/10.

Next Goal Wins. (2023) Movie Review.

We’ve already covered one of the surprisingly awful films to be quietly shoved out into UK cinemas on Boxing Day 2023. Let’s now coverer the one that might seem more obvious to those watching. Taika Waititi has completed his full transformation from Hollywood golden boy to one of its de facto villains. This viewer is mixed on Waititis
other work but Hunt the Wilderpeople is one of his favorite comedies of the 2010s and his favorite film overall for 2016. To see Waititi’s very rapid dissenting quality over his next three features including this is perhaps the most insanely accelerated Hollywo fall off outside of Josh Trank. What We Do in the Shadows and Wilderpeople era Waititi should be able to knock out an inspirational sports drama like this adaptation of the true story of football coach Thomas Rongen ( Michael Fassbender) and his journey couching the “worst football team in the world” American Samoa leading up to the 2014 World Cup qualifiers. Unfortunately, we live in a world where the fame has clearly gone to Waititi’s head. The film opens with the titular creator giving himself an on-the nose narrator cameo and it becomes very clear extremely quickly that the time around the director is going to use this story as nothing more than a vessel for every character to do his own comedic shtick. Gone are the days when Waititi’s work was genuinely offbeat yet supremely joke-focused with a wonderfully quick-witted comedic energy. In contrast, Next Goal Wins is tooth-gratingly unfunny, often coming across like a pale imitation of Ted Lasso it’s hard not to see wind the film has sat on the shelf for so long being the last film that Disney/Fox shot prior to the Covid 19 Pandemic. Especially considering this is Michael Fassbender’s first lead role since 2017 ( along with David Fincher’s The Killer) He is horrifically miscast not fitting with Waititi’s writing whatsoever. His die-hard fans might get something out of it but for his notable contingent of detractors here is the most definitive evidence you have that Waititi’s schtick has run dry.
2/10.

Tennis on Netflix Part 3. Break Point Season 2 /”The Netflix Slam”

On 10th March 2024 Netflix finally put its misbegotten Drive to Survive-esque attempt at a slice of the ATP and WTA tennis tours Break Point out of its misery. One can go and read the lengthy articles from this writer on both halves of the first season. In certain ways, much of what was true about those 10 episodes also applies to the softcore 6 installments The bottom line is that on a very fundamental level, this project was flawed from the outset and throughout. Tennis is ultimately far too fluid and fast-moving a sport for a reality series of this stripe to win over any new fans with limited access to only certain players and entourages. This is very much doubled down on in the second season. To compensate for the season order being cut by just under half any attempt to tell Grand Slam or other tournament stories through said players the creative team did have access to our jettisoned entirely to focus on a singularly small group of players. This would be fine if the players themselves offered anything new or interesting compared to the first season or really any project in this micro-genre of sports reality television.

There is an amusingly meta quality to the first episode with it focusing on the show’s initial red carpet premiere at the 2023 Australian Open and the supposed “ Netflix Curse for the players featured in the debut season that did get a fair amount of coverage at the time. As with everything in the show though it’s distinctly surface-level and negates the fact that a fetered player did win the 2023 Australian Open in Aryma Sabalenka.

Then there’s the Zverev of it all The episode focusing on his 2023 French Open run was clearly positioned by those behind him and the producers as an attempted redemption tour as he is awaiting trial for far more serious domestic violence allegations than the ones not mentation against Nick Kyrgios that he has been cleared of since the first season aired. Zverev could have actual prison time looming. With a producer’s hat on it’s hard to adopt anything beyond the cynical approach of the creative team hoping that any non-tennis fans watching take the show at face value and not dare to look any deeper. Well this is always the case for shows like this to some extent the hero/ villain dichotomy between Zverev and Daniel Medvedev feels especially bad faith given that Medvedev’s pantomime antics on and off the court are typically treated and performed with 0 malicious intent ( the opposite of what the show would tell you.)

The fact there is barely any footage from Wimbledon and no discussion of the Djokovic V Alcaraz men’s final ( without question the biggest tennis story of last year) just shows how limited this production seems in terms of the scope of what they can offer with the wider tennis community now having seen what they produced with season one. Netflix moved on and is now distinctly trying to court the sport of tennis in other ways. One came immediately in Break Point’s aftermath.

In the same week the Break Point cancellation was announced seasons Netflix aired live the so-called “ Netflix Slam.” This was the live exhibition match between Rafael Nadal and Carlos Alcaraz produced/funded by themselves airing live internationally on the platform from the Michelob ULTRA Arena in Las Vegas. This watcher’s main thought was that there were always several caveats on just how successful this prospect could be. Especially when Nadals 2024 thus far is essentially comprised of a persisting injury that has effectively soft-retired him at this point barring one last French Open run. At the point of the exhibition, Alcaraz wasn’t doing particularly well either in his post-Wimbledon winning run. He has won an Indian Wells title in the time since and appears to be recovered from injury for the time being.) It was never going to be a great match and so it proved. There’s the immediate question of how scripted the whole thing came across. This viewer’s impression was that those behind it wanted the two players to share the first two sets and inflate artificial closeness for as long as possible with Alcaraz eventually winning but how they got there in terms of the points played was left up to them.

One thing that can be said in the show’s favour Netflix certainly invested to make the into the grandest it could be considering they were left with two injured players taking to the court. They invested in acquiring a deck of American pundits including a rare commentary appearance from Andre Agassi of all people. This seems like a major coup. From a UK perspective while most other crossover American pundits have done UK / World Feed commentary at some point (especially Jim Courier who always seems to be on call wherever he is needed) This watcher and fan always assumed that Agassi’s thorny relationship with the sport that made him famous ( to put it mildly) ruled him out of doing any major punditry for any platform. Clearly, Netflix has enough resources to change his mind for a weekend’s work. To see him and Andy Roddick ( who has just started his own punditry and podcast career on the same panel was a little bit surreal Roddick obviously plugged his newly launched podcast. It had always been immensely surprising he did not go into this field immediately after retirement. Unsurprisingly Roddick’s podcast is pretty good. He has an especially strong interview With IMG super agent Max Eisenbud in which the latter goes into surprising depth about his relationship and dynamics with Yuri Sharapova ( Maria’s father) Comes highly recommended from this listener if you’re interested.

When combined with celebrity guests ( Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones seemed more invested in the outcome of this exhibition than Douglas’s current role in the MCU) the entire thing came across as the best possible outcome from a production point of view that it possibly could be. It was not a great match But it didn’t need to be. As with Netflix’s acquisition of the rights to WWE Raw recently it was not a lot more than a pitch pilot to the rights holders and organisations within other sports for Netflix as a platform within the live sports ecosystem. Given that the main tennis tours and U.S. Open (for UK fans) were effectively streaming exclusives as part of a deal signed by Amazon for several years before the contract expired last year and the same rights went back to linear TV with a streaming option this approach is nothing novel at this point. That includes platforms like Netflix which certainly have the bandwidth and ease of access To make streaming genuine sports a potential part of its package. Amazon did a surprisingly solid job when and included tennis coverage With a standard Prime subscription at a far cheaper price than when move sports-focused UK broadcaster Sky took the same package of rights back and inflated the price massively for covering the same events. Whether Netflix will do something similar for any sport beyond outliers like the WWE remains to be seen.

Certainly whatever else can be said about it “ The Netflix Slam” Was far more successful as a spotlight for tennis than Break Point. Yes, the former might be a missed opportunity From an ATP and WTA perspective but the approach and execution were misguided from the outset and throughout. After having finished the second season just after the cancellation had been announced this viewer and fan was grateful that this would not be a yearly release that felt like obligation viewing. Wherever tennis goes from here in an attempt to acquire new fans as the sport becomes more niche as the era of the “Big Three and Serena Williams ends remains to be seen Hopefully they learn from the failure of Break Point and don’t try something similar in the future.

Madame Web. Movie Review+ Into the (Live Action) Sony-Verse

We opened a Pandora’s Box to some of the most uncreative made by-committee studio filmmaking on the day of a certain hilariously campy but un-self-aware movie featuring Tom Hardy eating literal garbage and our antihero protagonist chowing down on some live lobster that he fishes out of a restaurant water tank released to the public and become a hit.

Yes, it’s the Sony “Spiderman without Spiderman” live-action universe. A vain attempt from the titular studio to still have a slice of the pie in their custody agreement for the live-action rights to our friendly neighbourhood web-slinger The first Tom Hardey venom and the second half of Morbius both have qualities that make them good candidates for so bad it’s brilliant viewing. By the time Andy Serkis and crew got to making Venom: Let There Be Carnage it was distinctly more self-aware and a lot less ironically fun. Do you want to know what several levels down from that incredibly low bar on a creativity and investment scale might look like? While he is Madam Web….

In concept something as desperate as a Madam Web solo movie seems like the biggest hail mary one can imagine. This is after this franchise hired Michael Keaton Vulture for Morbious and teased Tom Hardey Venom in the MCU with one mid-credits scene with big boy Marvel effectively slamming the door in their face.

The trailers and marketing for Dakota Johnson and Friends not only produced endless amounts of ridicule from pretty much all sides. It suggested things might be just as entertainingly awful as the worst/best of the Sony-verse. Add on the disastrous press tour and seemingly everything is lined up for another misbegotten disaster in the Sony-verse. Was that impression correct?
Yes… and no: Madame Webb is indeed absolutely terrible. A distinctly low effort no energy effort from all involved that seems like it was the first movie genuinely intended to go straight to the studio savage edit pile. Having seen dozens of the titular edits squeak out as theatrically released editions over the years this is the first one where the final cut that we have gives this viewer no interest in seeing what the original vision would have been like. Partially because well it’s clear this has been re-edited and retooled into oblivion it is ultimately just another superhero origin movie. It’s not engaging or interesting enough to deserve one apart from in the minds of cocaine-headed studio executives. That’s not to
say there isn’t one distinct thing worth noting before the film gets memory-holded. Tahar Rahim plays the villain and his role in the final cut is delivered through some of the most embarrassingly abysmal ADR work seen in any mainstream movie (joining Robert Downey Jr in Dolittle.) Rahim’s body was clearly on set but his line delivery feels like it’s been possessed by the ghost of Video Brinquedo. While this one interesting element might be worth pursuing the rest is just about as wrote and wooden as it gets. Sony was clearly relying on viewers who watch every comic book movie and the massive simp armies that exist for Johnson and co-lead Sydney Sweeney. Thankfully not even they could be convinced to show up for this. One might say Sony could learn a lesson from this but with that Kraven, the Hunter movie starring potential future Bond Aaron Taylor Johnson has trailers and is still on the release schedule plus another Vnom sequel Sony is not throwing in the towel yet. The fact that even allowed the Spider-Verse animated films to exist as the boundary-pushing masterpieces they are remains one of the greatest oxymorons in this viewer’s life as a film fan.

3/10..

The Beekeeper.Movie Review (Spoilers)

On paper and in execution Jason Statham’s The Beekeeper effectively sells itself.” The Stath” as he is affectionately known plays a retired secret agent genuinely moonlighting as a beekeeper when the elderly lady he is caring for(Phylicia Rashad) is swindled out of all her savings by the exact “2024 movie” definition of manipulative NFT swindling tech bros led by Josh Hutcherson To take revenge Statham must reactivate his secret skills as part of the titular former secret agent program of the title. Surely this is a premise too stupid to be taken in any way seriously. When combined with one of our worst current filmmakers in David Ayer you would be wrong on that count.

The Beekeeper is one of the worst Hollywood screenplays produced in the last several years and treats it with a level of deathly seriousness. Full to burst with enough side-splittingly hilarious po-faced delivery. Jerramy Iorns villen chewing the scenery for all it is worth while delivering enough bee puns to kill a hive, A villain tries to avoid death by selling Jason Statham an NFT before he is tied to a car and flung off a bridge. The entire thing is an absolute riot from start to finish. It genuinely feels like Statham could unironically be playing Rick Ford at any moment. Given the titular hotel room scene in Paul Feigs Spy (2015) is the funniest thing Statham or its director ever did in any feature that’s not entirely an awful thing. That’s not even mentioning that the Hutcherson character turns out to be the son of a female president in what is obviously envisioned to be a thinly veiled Kamala Harris stand in the most inelegant way possible.

The Beekeeper is genuinely atrocious but commits to the bit within its premise in every way it’s hard not to be along for the ride in its voyage of sheer lunacy. Stathems’s exit in this movie genuinely feels like a dare to create the most ridiculous thing imaginable. Fans of so bad it’s brilliant entertainment have another surprising addition to a pantheon that is much harder to get into than several viewers will have you believe.
1/10.
Entertainment/Hilarity value. 10/10.

Echo. (Disney +) Review.

The original intent was for this author to cover every single newly released piece of the MCU on this blog following the release of one Wandadivision. That’s only lasted for one more season of Falcon and The Winter Soldier. As one of the few viewers still keeping up with all the MCU-related visual content the release schedule for phases 4 and 5 may not be a lot in terms of the landscape of the Hollywood ecosystem generally but in terms of a singular universe/ studios it’s far too much for all but the most dedicated to keep up with regularly. Phases 4 and 5 had a couple of bright spots but the majority of mainline Marvel releases at this point wallow in perfunctory mediocrity to get excited about.

This is exemplified by the fact that Echo came hot off the heels of the surprisingly solid What If? Season 2 despite the debut effort being a bottom 5 MCU production. Next, we have the titular Echo. On paper, a questionable spin-off focused on the titular Maya Lopez/Echo made her first appearance in Hawkeye. These five episodes also present the soft launch of the MCU’s new “Marvel Spotlight” brand focusing in theory on street-level heroes as if this hasn’t already happened within the initial run of Defendersverse Marvel/Netflix material (despite the huge peaks and valleys across those 161 episodes. With the release of Echo, those series are now canon within the main MCU timeline. The question is beyond the return of Vincent D’onofrio’s Kingpin and one appearance in costume from Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock/ Daredevil. The question would be which of those two categories does echo as a show fall into?
Your answer is neither in the most frustrating way possible As a show in its own right Echo feels like it barely exists. This becomes fairly obvious right from the first moments as the series premiere spends 70% of its running time recapping the events of Hawkeye and expanding on protagonist Maya Lopezs backstory to explain how we got to the point where she returns to her hometown in Oklahoma after the events of the former show with the Kingpin still in a coma after being shot in the face by our protagonist at the end of Hawkeye. He’s the cliffhanger tease at the end of the opening episode As if D’Onofrio’s appearance within the show wasn’t heavily utilized as its main marketing tactic. With little to no story progression across the runtime it becomes clear why this was released as an under-the-radar binge release for Disney +. NOTHING HAPPENS. The show has clearly been retooled and restructured with a drastically lower budget than what we have come to expect from the MCU Disney + offerings. That’s not to say there aren’t bright spots. In trying to make the very best out of some incredibly thin material Alaqua Cox is doing her best in the central role. The fights and choreography may be nowhere near as good as the Netflix Daredevil series the TV-MA rating is used well enough to give the fight scenes a decent level of solidly effective crunch even if they never transcend beyond solid. remains electrifying as the Kingpin. With the events of this and the proceedings series now folding it into the main MCU timeline, this author can comfortably call it his favourite recurring performance across these 16 years of the broader franchise. The commitment to presenting as much as possible in American Sign Language given our central character it is deff is the sort of commendably effective effort one might not expect from this style of production outside the Quiet Place franchise. Note that that is very different from saying that the material they are delivering in this format is good(which it isn’t.)

Ultimately while this is far from the worst piece of Marvel content released through phases 4 and 5 in a piece of effective synergy with the state of the franchise as a whole the brighter moments are swimming in a sea of mediocrity. As a huge fan of Charlie Cox in the role of Daredevil upcoming soft reboot/continuation “Daredevil: Born Again” is one of this writer’s most anticipated projects for whenever it is ready to release. even with the clear production troubles in both cases if his appearance in Echo is a sign of what Cox in a series regular return to the role of Matt Murdoch is going to be like under Disney from a tone and content perspective one will need to dial back their expectations significantly from the best of the Netflix offering.
5/10.

Stranger Things: The First Shadow. (London) Review.

Note. Spoilers for season 4 of Stranger Things are ahead (and somewhat inevitable given that the season’s events are directly tied to the premise of the new play being reviewed here.).

With every Stranger Things affiliated project that drops ( especially in the wait between seasons 4 and 5, there is the question of just how ridiculously lavish and expensive the whole thing is going to come across. Whatever else can be said about season 4 as a whole it certainly set the bar ridiculously high for future projects in that respect. As a fan of the franchise that was this viewer’s main interest in seeing how the world of the Duffer Brothers and the Upside Down translated to the stage. It was on one level an exciting prospect but the looming presence of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child in the background ( beyond the two projects sharing Jack Thorne as a co-writer) Was a point of potential concern. Having seen all five and three-quarter hours of that show on stage for as much as JK Rowling’s world is fantastically brought to life on stage the play itself consisting of creator-approved fan fiction concentratated nonsense certainly doesn’t help its position when it’s trying to sell itself as the eighth story in the series. Despite that Cursed Child is still running in its full form in the West End It’s hard not to see why Netflix wouldn’t want a slice of similar pie in transitioning their most successful genre crossover property to the stage. The announcement of this project being a prequel focused on the arrival of Henry Creel in Halkins circa 1959 seemed like a relatively safe choice. How does the franchise translate to the stage?
Honestly really well for the most part? With the caveat that the distinction is much more concerning the technical elements than the play itself. Don’t get this viewer wrong The materials are not bad Assuming viewers that go and see this show (at least initially) will have seen season 4 there’s not a great deal new here plot-wise. Effectively expanding the flashback that served as the season 4 “Volume 1” finale at the time it aired in which Vecna/Henry shows Nancy a snippet of his upbringing in what will become the Creel House 30 years later and his reveal as Dr Brenner first tent subject into a three-hour two-act theatrical production. In the play’s side story, ( that does eventually link up with Henry’s origin) seemingly every character has a distinct sense of prequelites with either being the younger version of a character or in the case of the teenagers from the main show their parents putting on a play at Hawkins High. The plot might be nothing essential but what immediately vaults it over the Cursed Child comparison is that it does feel within the distinct tone of voice and performances of the main series. Muscled forward by some genuinely jaw-dropping technical set pieces.
Without spoiling it having seen a fair bit of travelling and West End theatre over the years this ( very much like season 4) The First Shadow represents the most technically maximalist affair possible in 20/23/24 when you have an essentially unlimited budget to play with. This ethos is obvious right from the very start given the show’s central set piece is its cold open. An astonishing effects sequence that will rock any fan of their show or admirer of spectacle theatre right out of their seat. On the night this viewer saw the show were gasps and a round of applause as the sequence cut to a projected title sequence with the show’s theme music getting everyone ready for a new slice of the Stranger Things universe. There may be a few other set pieces almost as impressive sprinkled throughout the show but it’s a height the experience never reaches again.
Stranger Things: The First Shadow is a distinctly safe bet narratively given the existing material that was set up by season 4. That said unlike many of its contemporaries in this micro-genre of spectacle brand extensions it feels distinctly like it belongs within the canon of the main series. Add on some breathtaking technical accomplishments and sequences and you have something that distinctly elevates rather safe material and transforms into a genuine installment of the franchise taking place before your very eyes
8.5/10.

Mean Girls ( 2024 Musical Movie.) Review./Watch Girls5eva Insteded

The original Mean Girls was something of a blind spot for this viewer until he watched it randomly during the pandemic when it had a run on UK Netflix. It’s one of those films that’s had enough pop and meme cultural penetration that this watcher just assumed he knew all of the memetic catchphrases and quoted moments via osmosis. A certain amount of that is true but the inherent surprise in watching it in full for the first time was how instantly a new viewer still managed to connect with it. Yes, it’s very much a PG-13 sanitization of 1988 Heathers ( which had been watched a few years earlier) but the script and performances still have a ton of bite even when certain lines have been so thoroughly entrenched that one recognizes them as they are being said. As a musical theatre fan, the vague presence of a musicalized Broadway adaptation was something this writer was aware of but before the trailer for the new remake/ musical feature adaptation dropped he had no idea what the consensus on the new material/ musical version was. Let’s not beat around the bush. Mean Girls 2024 has one of the worst trailer campaigns of the past few years. unfunny, try-hard and cheap-looking with a distinctly cornball Olivia Rodrigo needle drop that feels like the kind of thing the original film would make fun of. Expectations going into the remake itself were at rock bottom. Were they met?

Mostly. That said in direct contrast to the trailer this viewer found it it’s hard to get irritated by Mean Girls 2024 thanks to it being a distinctly low-energy affair. This a prime example of doing the bits and catchphrases expected by an audience who knows the original with 0 conviction or sense of purpose beyond a basic “I understood that reference” framework. It was actively surprising to see Tina Fey credited directly with the re-adaptation beyond The standard “ Based on Original Material by“ credit given that Mean Girls 2024 feels distinctly like it was written by someone he was seeing the original but has not understood what makes it creatively tick.
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All the barbed and distinctly toothy dialogue of the original is replaced with shamelessly pandering to the TicTok generation. Starting right from the cold open which begins with a character filming a TikTok before widening out the frame for the opening overture musical number which spoils the original’s second-best gag at the 47-second mark. Oh, and there is now a hefty dollop of entirely unnecessary Pesek and Paul-esque bombast over melody musical numbers. From the ground up this remake feels distinctly like the Disney Channel Original Movie of itself. Kind of makes sense given that this was originally a streaming production that has been upgraded to a full theatrical release and screams those origins in every creative facet
The film does have one unquestionable asset. Renee Rapp is kind of great as the new Regina George. She is seemingly the only performer in the new cast who understands the correct tone for this style of material and goes for it full force without ever coming across as try-hard or annoying. Hopefully, Rapp is the one person who gets a major career boost out of this distinctly misjudged affair.
In the background, there is also the nagging thought from this viewer of being one of the 10 people who has seen both seasons of the much better Tina Fay adjacent musical sitcom Girls5eva. A fun show overall that hits its creative high with the original music/ comedy songs Both expectedly share some cast crossover and musical/ songwriting credits but the difference between hiring actual musicians willing to play into the joke and the shameless pandering of Mean Girls 2024. shines through. One might not have goten the show’s best moment thus far. Sara Bareilles doing The joke piano ballad I’m Afraid ( only a section of this makes the final cut compared to the full soundtrack version) and it sounds directly like an outtake from Waitress in the most hilarious way possible. but hypothetically a song like Dream Girlfriend from the second episode of the first season would fit pretty seamlessly into a musical version of Mean Girls. The film itself wishes it had that level of creative energy. Whatever. The show is likely to have been cancelled twice by the end of the summer without enough people having seen it. At the time of writing the Netflix-produced season three has not been released. However initial impressions of a sitcom season only being 6 episodes after being saved from cancellation give the feeling of a contractual obligation required by Netflix to rescue the show/ pick up the rights to the first two seasons initially Stranded on Peacock Only watched by this viewer in the UK because it was a musical co-starring Renee Elise Goldsberry. Any musical project starring a Hamilton affiliate immediately has his interest.

This writer can’t objectively say that Mean Girls 2024 is as awful as that atrocious trailer campaign but that’s distinctly because it doesn’t try hard enough to be. An entirely unnecessary remake coasting by on below-average production value for a theatrical release and inbuilt knowledge of the original from its audience despite Renee Rapp’s best efforts, Only recommended for the die-hard fans and the morbidly curious.
4/10.

The (Live) “Room Where It Happens” Finally on the Road. Hamilton UK Tour (Edinburgh) Review.

Authors note. This article will assume some knowledge of the show and material. This isn’t necessarily a “spoiler” piece per se (it’s hard to judge what counts as a spoiler with media as distinctly saturated and based on a certain level of historical fact/fiction. Nevertheless, if you are unfamiliar with Hamilton as a property or plan for this UK tour to be your first experience of said show, it might be worth coming back once you have. Experience the show for yourself. Either on Disney + or in one of the proverbial live. “Room Where It Happens” as covered here. 

Lin Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton has been discussed to death from every conceivable angle at this point. Even from this writer’s perspective, he has previously chronicled his experience of instantly falling in love with the show after seeing it in its first two consecutive years in the West End not knowing a ton going beyond having heard snippets of the music and arriving in the UK just as it was exiting the apex of its crossover sensation phase. This was accelerated later somewhat reignited by the pandemic and the decision by Disney to release the pro shot they previously acquired on Disney + so that as many people as possible could be given the chance do you see this preservation of the original Broadway cast that made the show such a sensation initially. Even if Hamilton itself has simply slotted into the rotation of juggernaut shows solidly playing around the world at this point even as a die-hard fan of the material the live West End production was still new enough in huge budget theatrical terms (in this fan’s eyes) to not be taken out on tour for quite some time yet. Yet the announcement came early last year that not only was the show going on tour it was also coming to Edinburgh’s Festival Theatre one of this author’s favourite venues. The announcement felt like it was designed from the ground up to sweeten the deal for prospective show attendees like this one. Insert Futurama’s “Shut up and take my money” GIF here. 

There was the question though of whether or not the new UK Tour can truly replicate just how seamlessly it came across in the West End despite having the most moving parts and shifts in tone/ musical genre this author can think of in any show he has seen. With some of the most electrifying ensemble work, this viewer has seen in any live setting. All backed up with the 46-song score absolutely packed with moments of transcendent brilliance. Nevertheless, when this watcher parked his wheelchair in one of his favourite access seats in any theatre (and the exact one he had wished for his first chance to see his favourite musical and one of his all-time favourite pieces of media on the road.) He couldn’t wait to find out.  

Does the touring cast do justice to the truly sensational material?

Of course, they do. This replica touring production comes across just as effortlessly and seamlessly as can be hoped for by any fan of the show. As someone lucky enough to have this be their first experience of this work of utter genius. Lin Manuel Miranda himself may have experienced some backlash in recent years for very much copping to a house style and being distinctly overexposed in a lot of ways. Watching the show live in full for the first time in five years hasn’t dulled the overwhelming feeling for this watcher that crystallized roughly 10 minutes into act one on first viewing and by the time we got to the collage of vocals that ends the first act with the defiant and hugely anthemic cuts to black, you knew you. were in the presence of something truly extraordinary. That’s before you get to the wildly More downbeat but still exceptional second act containing some of the show’s very best songs and moments. All delivered here by an exceptional touring cast and ensemble who deliver all 20,520 words and 46 songs of Miranda’s score In all the right ways to do justice to the show’s brilliance 

This viewer was frankly stunned to see every generation and age demographic possible turn out for his performance. You have those fans like this writer who know the material backwards as well as this show attracting the kind of audiences that make their love for it an entire personality trait. You have attendees familiar with the Dobble Album and the (slightly censored) Disney + edition The final group(much as this might be hard to reconcile for some viewers) is those who heard about the show during the peak years but haven’t necessarily seen it on Disney + and will take the opportunity to engage with the material for the first time what with the show now set up on its two year UK tour taking in several different venues across the UK with residency like 2 month runs in place for each. Given some of the overheard conversations at this viewer’s performance, more ticket buyers formed this group than you might realise. What follows are this viewer’s favourite snippets from fellow audience members on the night he attended. 

• An audience member went up to the ticket desk at the festival theatre and introduced herself as an “Influencer.” It’s fair to say that the show still has enough cultural power to attract this crowd but this moment does not hold a candle compared to seeing the show in 2019 where two audience members were actively filming the pre-show set at the Victoria Palace Theatre and taking photos for their Instagram story. 
•  In a show filled with a gauntlet of incredible moments, this fan’s absolute favourite got its own round of micro applause. Score and choreography combined to make the instrumental breakdown section of “Yorktown” completely irresistible. 
• “ Have you seen it before?”  

“ No. I was crying.” 

“What is there to get sad about? You do know he dies at the end? 

•  An audience member greeted the end of Its Quiet Uptown with a perfectly timed “So dad!” 
• “ Was that your first time seeing the show? I’m well jealous.  

 Hamilton in its UK touring edition remains one of the most electrifying pieces of live entertainment possible. Brought to life by a superb cast who more than do justice to the brilliant material ( regardless of how one feels about the original creative team being decidedly overexposed in the years since) For fans and newbies alike if the show is playing one of its residencies in a city near you and one has have any interest in checking out the live experience this writer strongly encourages any potential audience member to do just that 

10/10.  

Ferrari. (2023) Movie Review.

Two genuinely awful movies had UK releases on Boxing Day 2023 and were very late additions to this viewer’s worst-of-the-year list. Let’s quickly cover off the less obvious entry. Michael Mann effectively shows the audience what House of Gucci would look like if it was presented more “respectively” in his long-gestating but deathly dull snapshot Into the life of Enzo Ferrari (Adam Driver) in a film whose best utilization in future will be a sleep medication. Another wrote examination of the prison within masculinity the film is cold and calculated as the character at its centre but has nothing to do or say relating to one of the most painfully obvious central thesis within this brand of narrative Yes the sound design for the racing sequences is incredibly punchy and probably deserves the best sound system and presentaion imaginable. That said when the entire final product feels like it’s just a step outside the return of Jared Letto doing Pablo Gucci via Super Mario with all the non-racing sequences treated like a simultaneously distant yet overwrought melodrama it’s hard to care. Maybe petrolheads will get something out of it. For anyone else, It will be distinctly hard to care.
3/10

Wish. (Disney) Movie Review.

In a lot of ways, Disney’s 2023 creative and box office returns are an incredibly easy target. The House of Mouse has become so omnipresent in hoovering up various IP over the last 10 years that when cranks started to show large swaths of audiences would examine the fall in microscopic detail as well as perceiving that all of this is as a result of a perceived “wokeness.” In theory, it is not worth joining that pile on for a 2023 slate of movies that might not be great but are largely not as bad as the internet will tell you. With one notable exception. As a viewer who has followed Disney’s CG animation renaissance which roughly ended with the announcement and eventual release of Frozen 2 in 2019, it is shocking how pathetic and wimpy the corporation’s big 100th anniversary animated effort Wish comes across. “Generated by AI” is becoming a distinctly lazy shorthand/ synonym for lack of creativity/imagination but this viewer would be lying if he said it wasn’t the first thing that came to mind while sitting through this thing. In part because he has seen the limitations of what AI can produce from a creative perspective (not very much at all outside of very specific contexts) Yet if you fad an algorithm of choice any number of “Disney Renaissance” scripts to work off and told that to produce an original Disney Princess movie it would come up with something akin to Wish. Everything from the decidedly five years too late utilization of the 2.5.D animation style, unbelievably bland plot and songs that will slide off one’s brain instantly scream of lack of creative innovation on pretty much every level. Exactly the kind Of broadly cynical production to unironically have the lyric “In this universe we’re all shareholders. Get that through your system.” (in what is easily the worst individual moment in any movie released this year)

Not to mention Disney themselves invited a very unfavourable comparison by releasing this theatrical offering directly opposite the much better anniversary short film Once Upon a Studio The short genuinely does feel like the Disney creative team going hell for lether on just how many fun celebratory easter eggs and character interactions they can pack into 8 minutes. Far more effective than the cinematic epiphany of low effort that is Wish. Those that truly hated any of the Marvel/Star Wars content in 2023 or thought the addition of The Scuttlebutt to the live-action Little Mermaid was a crime against cinema and the legacy of Howard Ashman boy does this writer have a surprise as to what the worst piece of Disney project released in 2023 actually was. Only Chris Pines’s marginally fun voice work and decent if unremarkable villain song are bright spots. How Walt Disney Animation Studios recovers from this remains to be seen. given what was riding on this film it being as bad as it is seems like a devastating blow.

3/10.

Anyone But You. Movie Review.

In the age of social media and more decentralized media consumption, it’s difficult to say that the Hollywood machine can in of itself break a new star or stars with 2/3 exceptions. Spielberg West Side Story breakout Rachel Zegler is in the process of her big follow-up project to that performance being released to mixed success. The other example concerns the Sydney Sweeney/Glenn Powell R-rated rom-com being reviewed here. Sweeney’s career has exploded over the last couple of years and while she will always have a huge social media following at minimum. After Powl’s genuine breakout in Top Gun: Maverick the pairing of two trendy stars in a film that so desperately wants to coast by on “hot people doing hot things in attractive locations” energy. Shame it isn’t any good

Months after a one-night stand through mutual friends Sweeney and Powell play antagonists who decide to feign the fact they are a couple for other guests at a wedding in a way that enables them to attain the mutually beneficial goals. You can plot out the rest from there.

For a film that has benefited greatly from tabloid-gaining media coverage concerning Sweeney and Prowl’s supposed chemistry the final product has a distinctly chased energy. The kind of thing that has enough F-bombs to earn it an R rating but distinctly doesn’t want to alienate the Mumma Mia-esque “wine mom” crowd. Perfectly encapsulated by director Will Gluck attempting to recapture the Pocketful of Sunshine motif from his breakout Easy A with the use of another Natasha Bedingfield song, Complete with an unbelievably corny sing-along montage over the credits. It opens with a long build-up to a not particularly funny punchline that has had the unfortunate luck to come out in the relative vicinity of effectively the same gag being executed far darker and stronger in Amazon’s The Boys spin-off Gen V ( complete with perfectly chosen needle drop.) All that needs to be said is hand dryers. From there the script seems desperate to capture a modern take on an old-school screwball comedy but the material isn’t there. The two leads may be watchable but their photogenic nature can only get you so far.

Gluck has made some cinematic embarrassments over the last 10 years. The performance of “I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here” from his Annie remake might be the worst most autotuned musical number to ever exist in a major Hollywood movie. His James Corden voiced Peter Rabbit franchise is the kind of awful that the majority of filmmakers would not come back from. Yet here Gluck is back again after essentially the worst three-film run humanly possible Anyone But You is better than those but that’s not saying a lot. Nowhere near as funny or button-pushing as it could have been this is just about the safest movie you could produce as an R-rated romcom in 2023. That’s fine to an extent. Given that this has been a surprise hit and the box office no doubt Sony and Gluck are happy. That said anyone looking for something beyond attractive people being attractive when paired with a forgettable script will be left decidedly wanting.

4/10

The Bizarro World James Bond Adjacent Reality Show You Didn’t Watch. (FULL SPOILERS)

Note. The following piece will assume that viewers have seen No Time to Die (2021) as well as containing FULL SPOILERS for 007: Road To a Million The context of this show being the first B project released after that film is one of the most fascinating things about it.

Seeing No Time to Die in IMAX for the first time was a very distinctive memory for this viewer. He can’t pinpoint exactly the moment it dawned on him that they were about to actually attempt to pull off the one thing that’s always seemed like a no-go area for Bond as a franchise. Nevertheless watching the third act play out in the way it does convince this sceptic even further of what was about to happen. They were actually going to do it. They were about to kill the current incarnation of James Bond. This had been distinctly guessable for a while given how much Daniel Craig had been open about being coaxed back for one final entry. That said it’s one thing hearing about it as a rumour and another to see it legitimately play out on screen. The question is after an era that genuinely redefined what Bond as a franchise can be for the 21st century where do you go from here?

The initial answer appeared to be nowhere fast. Any discussion about the next era of Bond at the time of writing has been emphatically or vaguely shut down by the Broccoli family depending on the source you look at. With the looming Amazon/MGM deal and Bond being one of the company’s signature IPs of you’re Amazon what could you get the Broccoli’s to sign off on with no currently running incarnation of Bond or his universe? The answer. A reality show. Not just any reality show. One of the strangest mishmashes of formats and tones this viewer has seen across anything in quite some time. Let’s discuss.

The premise of 007:Road to a Million the marketing material wants to sell an audience on is as follows.

Nine duos from various backgrounds set off on a series of adrenaline-fueled Bond-inspired challenges masterminded by Brian Cox who is Sitting in a very Bond-appropriate bunker seemingly pulling all the strings to make things fall into place.

Here’s the actual premise.

Duos from various backgrounds are sent off on various globe-trotting tasks completely separate from one another. They have to do various physical challenges with surprisingly little crossover in terms of themes or locations for five out of eight episodes. They will have wild variations in terms of their screen time and general focus. The Brian Cox material was added in in post as a sub-in for the team’s producer instructions while out on task. Not forgetting perhaps the most important detail. Even if the teams clear the physical challenges required for each segment they may get knocked out by a Who Wants to be a Millionaire style general knowledge question that sometimes may have something to do with the theming of the task or locations. At other times it seems a lot more random. These individual choices might sound like very safe reality show playbook efforts when taken separately. It’s the juxtaposition together into such a bizarre soup of a final product that makes 007:Road to a million such an intriguing failure Here’s the kicker. Despite marketing itself as a Bond reality show its relationship to the broader franchises at best tangential beyond some vague iconography and locations.

Let’s get one thing straight. Even if this viewer was strangely compelled by the sheer amount of baffling choices here when all taken together resulting in in him watching the full season this is still not a good show. The nonlinear structure might seem interesting in theory but is distinctly hard to follow in practice. Not in terms of the events happening on screen. Most of us have seen enough of this type of genre even in passing to know how these things work. Yet the fact there’s no crossover between any of the contestant journeys and the fact they never actually meet on screen some having huge swaths of screen time between one appearances (and others being on screen for minutes before they are knocked out in their second appearance with their first effort being entirely delivered through exposition.) The narrative through line that this kind of thing should be able to knock out in its sleep becomes actively difficult to piece together. It’s also never established how teams get from the end of one challenge to the start of the next given that there are plenty of instances of international or even cross-continental travel both implied within the premise and the show itself. One can make some guesses based on the level of producer manipulation likely involved in a project such as this one. The final edits of these episodes won’t do something as simple as establishing travelling. between tasks as part of the narrative progression. The season feels hastily cut together in post with the lack of contestant interaction wiping opportunities for conflict or collaboration off the table. Also known as the sort of thing that conventional reality television would preferably eat for breakfast. The whole thing creates a decidedly strange tone and atmosphere throughout. We haven’t even got to the one unequivocal positive this show has in its favour.

Both within and outside the context of being reality TV this show looks absolutely incredible. Absurdly cinematic and effective in showcasing how far a conventional genre can be pushed when it is assembled by people who are willing to funnel enough money into a project to make it look at least on a asthetic anesthetic level as good as it possibly can be. Absurd amounts of location shooting with clear multiple crews across the world attempting to make a high-budget movie-level event out of a strange reality show with a bungled format that no one outside of die-hard fans and the morbidly curious we’ll watch through to the end. There has been a fair amount of discussion since the combined arrivals of Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power and Citadel regarding Amazon giving huge budgets to mediocre creatives and producing projects that have the feel of B and company assuming they will gain an audience by birthright If they simply pump more funds in. As someone who finished both of those first seasons despite the unscripted nature Road To A Million. has to be the ultimate example. Both it and Citadel are a bizarre jumble of tones that look slicked to within an inch of their lives but can’t overcome producers who have no idea what they want the show to be in the final edit. In the case of Road to a Million that’s before you even look at the ending.
The Road to a Million finale has the three remaining pairs hoping to win the money by completing several challenges in the Swiss Alps. The first two challenges knock out consecutive pairs before the last duo get to the final briefcase. They find Bond-esque dossiers on the other contestants who have also been attempting challenges (despite never having met any of them ) and tackle the briefcase containing the final three Millionaire-style questions to win them the Million Only to get knocked out before the final question. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this ending in an established format. Jackpot rollovers and high-stakes prizes have been a thing for as long as game shows have existed. Yet for a new entry in this genre to not pay out its jackpot with no guarantee that this format will have any future hits a decidedly wrong note. Especially as the payoff to 7-8 hours of TV that this viewer was only truly watching out of morbid interest. Gratefully the narrative makes clear that the pairs do win the money they had banked up until the point they get knocked out but the fact none of them meet nor even get to the final round remains a format hole you could drive a proverbial Aston Martin through. Who knows. Maybe there might be a second season of Road to Million. That said nothing is ever guaranteed and in in world where streaming series ( especially ones that look this expensive) can be cancelled at a moment’s notice nothing is ever guaranteed. Having seen the full season this viewer varies much doubt that it would hold anyone’s genuine interest For more than a single episode but we shall see.
007 Road to a Million is a textbook example of an interesting failure. The kind of big-budget mess that in the streaming age will very quickly recede into the preferable memory hole unless it gets a second season. If anything this piece is more of an acknowledgement from this viewer that it is easily one of the strangest most misshapen seasons of TV ( scripted or otherwise) that this viewer has seen in recent memory. The sort of thing that’s begging for some variety of tell-all expose to come out about its creation. Not necessarily in the sense of anything untoward going on behind the scenes but simply an explanation from the creative team about how something that emerged in this final form came to be. If any of what has been discussed in this piece sounds intriguing this show is available on Prime Video as of right now. Projects this bizarre with this level of budget and IP familiarity from the general public don’t come around too often.
5/10.

Strays. Movie Review.

Oh boy. The full movie that was preceded by the worst trailer of the past several years has finally shuffled its way into the theatrical marketplace. Don’t get this viewer wrong. You have to go into everything with some level of open mind. That said it’s hard not to look at the red band trailer for Strays featuring Will Ferrell as a foul-mouthed talking dog in a distinctly adult comedy swearing, humping and delivering a correction of other scatological humour through his canine adventures with a group of other stray dogs. This would feel overstretched as a 4-minute CollegeHumor YouTube sketch from 2008. You are meaning to tell this watcher there’s a further 90 minutes of lowest common denominator “jokes” to sit through. Well OK then. Was there anything mildly interesting behind one of the most base-level marketing campaigns humanly possible in 2023?
No. Stress is exactly what one thinks it will be. Tooth gratingly unfunny stuff that gets decidedly old within the first 90 seconds. There are only so many times you can watch a cute dog do something inappropriate before it starts to wear out its welcome. There is one admittedly hilarious moment involving a particular cameo from a certain “narrator dog” where the film somewhat accidentally stumbles on a much stronger premise for a talking dog movie satire. That’s the film this viewer would much rather be watching. This one-dimensional and one-track-minded half-hearted parody of Homeward Bound can get in the bin. Unless one is decidedly on the wavelength of this very 13-year-old boy’s sense of humour avoid Strays like the plague. At least Sausage Party (much as the two films essentially share the same criticisms) was relatively audacious and memorable points with its one-track-minded adults flip on a conventional children’s film,
2/10.

Barbie (2023) Movie Review

Note. This review contains spoilers for The Lego Movie (2014). In the writing of this review, this author assumed that there was enough crossover audience between the two films that the spoilers didn’t necessarily need to be flagged. Just in case this is not the case and you’re coming to this review without having seen the Lord and Miller magnum opus if one really cares about unmarked spoilers for a nine-year-old movie it might be best to turn away now.

Let’s get this over with. Greta Gerwig is easily one of the most overrated creatives working right now. Lady Bird especially is incredibly milk toast. Pleasant enough if a little bit dull. Nevertheless, She and her husband Noah Baumbach have been able to curate a baffling amount of hipster fandom (beyond the admittedly excellent Marriage Story.) The thought that they were the ones writing the Barbie movie during the production of Baumbach’s White Noise a movie that gets points for ambition but verges on insufferable at times ( especially in its opening act) sounded like a potential endurance test for anyone who was not going to give it five stars by birthright. Add on the 2001 apeing teaser trailer and the fact this will get a much younger audience despite largely being targeted at teens and adults with a PG-13 rating suggesting that they could be excluding or alienating a huge young audience who will go to this movie purely because it’s Barbie. All the initial impressions gave off the view that we were in for another Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr Fox here. Given that the titular film is a strong contender for this viewer’s most overrated work of all time even if Barbie miraculously turned out to be good in a more general audience-pleasing sense he was still rather pessimistic going into his screening. What did this viewer find?
Honestly. Having seen the final film it is hard to imagine what the under-10s who see what Gerwig and Co have come up with here will think of it given that the main narrative thrust relies heavily on a running thread about the central characters and the brand’s existential crisis in 2023. That said as someone with an admittedly negative impression of the film since it was announced as a ton to like here. The production design is immaculate. It features two of the most pitch-perfect performances possible from Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling. There are definite comedic high points. Enough great gags to make the film worth seeing for any teen or adult in the audience who might find the very idea of a Barbie movie at this scale conceptually ridiculous. If anything the biggest takeaway might be that Gerwig should direct a musical given something of a surprising highlight the musician cameos and musical sequences account for many of the best moments here. This viewer especially enjoyed watching a certain call out to his least favourite filmmaker currently working knowing that Barbie’s film has made more money at the box office than any of his work ever well. Especially after the said filmmaker was handed the keys to the ultimate billion-dollar sure thing and created an absolute abomination that is still a walking punchline to those outside his baffling hive-mind fandom. That said like with the titular heroine the Barbie movie is trying desperately to wrestle with the concept of its very existence and the brand’s place within society in a modern context. This is where things lose momentum somewhat. It’s not that this strand of the plot doesn’t have a couple of amusing moments with Will Ferrell playing a fictionalized version of a Mattel CEO as Barbie and Ken discover the “real world” The problem isn’t even that Farrell plays a similar role in the absolute masterpiece that is The Lego Movie. That comparison can be made is not entirely fair. In the Lego Movie, the eventual third-act connection between Ferrell and his son in the live-action reveal segment is so effective because Lego is in and of itself such an unproblematic metaphor for the strength of boundless creativity and imagination. Even if Ferrell’s business/preservation-minded adult initially suggested his immaculately preserved LEGO City creation is not to be tampered with. The 2023 Barbie movie on the other hand tries to address the one dimensionality of the brand and the somewhat level feeling of diversification across the generations but does so in the most toothless corporate-approved way possible. One can feel the Mattel executives pulling the strings as the various redrafts of the screenplay went through. It made this viewer massively curious to imagine what Gerwig and Baumbach’s first draft looked like before various stakeholders got their hands on it.
The 2023 Barbie movie does have moments of brilliance. There is certainly enough here to recommend for those who weren’t automatically in the tank for it from minute one. That said it spends far too long trying to wrestle with the concept of its very existence at this point where the discourse around Barbie as a brand is already existing in the most corporate and toothless way imaginable. Gerwig and her team were definitely successful in creating something that has some level of subversive edge and creative vision They were unfortunately not able to escape the clear corporate machinations of a project like this as effectively as some will tell you.
7/10.

The Out-Laws. Movie Review

Sometimes one is looking are just looking for a bad Netflix movie to watch. This low-rated comedy starring Adam Devine and Nina Dobrev was top of the Netflix charts for its opening weekend and seemed like a good candidate. In it, Devine and Dobrev play an engaged couple with Divine having never met Dobrev’s parents. This turns out to be because they are seasoned bank robbers wanted by every organization in the land. One can plot the rest out from there. Immediately starting that film and seeing the Happy Madison logo at the front gives an impression of just how bad this might be. For the opening 10 minutes or so it’s mostly your basic Happy Madison comedy with the mild stipulation that it is very tamely R-rated compared to the rest of the stables catalogue. Then the parents played by Pierce Brosnan and Ellen Barkin show up and things go downhill fast. Much more shrieky and over the top than your typical Adam Sandler Happy Madison movie things get patience testing very fast. Despite the attempt to stage action sequences containing a certain amount of OTT splatter is morbidly interesting from a studio that is not typically very good at the base level of what it’s attempting to do (i.e. make you laugh, ) A reoccurring moteef involves Devine having to do a Tom DeLonge circa All The Small Things impression. Another set piece involves divine wearing a Shrek mask It’s borderline unthinkable to think that the unbelievably functional jokes wouldn’t go for a low-hanging Shrek is Love: Shrek is Life joke. Both set pieces feel stale imported straight from 2003 regardless. Brosnan also delivers a perfunctory Bond reference as standard. If one is a fan of any of the four leads here they might get something out of it. Otherwise, there is no reason to bother. The film is most notable because of the fact someone thinks Devine and Dobrev still have an audience based on what they were doing 10 years ago. They have not really evolved beyond low-effort streaming affairs such as this one.
3/10.

Meg 2. The Trench. Movie Review.

Forgive this writer’s mild sense of optimism. He assumed the period of mainstream Hollywood getting into bed with Chinese state-sanctioned mega-blockbusters that led to productions like The Great Wall and Transformers: Age of Extention was long over. Chinese blockbusters can now count on small to moderate-size releases in the West. Add to this that in 2018 the original The Meg felt like a relatively late addition to the micro genre. Yet five years later here we are with a sequel that no one asked for Even weirder still it’s directed by British indie author Ben Wheatley. He might have had one minor brush with the fringes of Hollywood before this (Free Fire) but Wheatley gets a lot of free press in British film media for his work ethic and experimentation regardless of what he puts out. Those are two points that distinctly cannot be argued in The Meg’s 2s favour. In fact, for the first 2/3 of the sequel, this is a notably worse affair than the already forgettable first entry. That is to say for no reason at all the SYFy Channel Jason Statham giant shark sequel gets taken over by a half-baked sabotage thriller. Who wanted this? The most obvious answer would be no one. After 90 minutes of sheer tedium, the film does redeem itself somewhat by offering the best material in this franchise so far. In that, it transitions Into a half-hearted but modestly entertaining Jurassic Park rip-off that does deliver some of the cheesy but enjoyable B movie thrills the two films have wanted to achieve but never got close to. Although there is some mildly ironic enjoyment in the reptilian island and shark-based action of the final act that doesn’t mean either film is distinctly recommendable. There’s no reason to wade through all the unnecessary material in the first three quarters here with a film that doesn’t even know what its audience is for that time.
4/10.

Invincible (Amazon) Atom Eve. Special + Season 1. Review.

Maybe it’s just me. As someone not familiar with the source material viewer has struggled to get on board with the animated Amazon adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s Invincible despite the somewhat weird feeling of critical acclaim. Yes, the action and gore sequences have some engaging spectacle and viceroyalty. That said between unbelievably rudimentary visuals, the admittedly starry voice casts wild variations in level of comfort with voice acting and the very basic writing/narrative in a world where superhero content is so over-saturated there was nothing in the first season all that special. Especially when you consider that Amazon likely has the best superhero show going at the moment with its adaptation of The Boys. Taking nothing beyond broad ideas and concepts from the source material and doing its own much better thing with it. Nevertheless, the animated Invincible is popular and what with it being 2 1/2 years since season one ended Amazon decided to shadow drop a standalone prequel episode focusing on Atom Eve as something of a primer for season 2 as well as revealing the air date for the upcoming sophomore effort. With this being a mostly standalone special this viewer opted to give it a go. Maybe this would be the point at which this show clicked for him. Was this the case?

No. As a singular entity, this special is far from terrible but is essentially a copy-paste of all the same strengths and issues that plagued season one. Yes the action here still has the appropriate level of punch ( although it feels a little toned down from some of the outright splatter fests in season one.) This allows the special to end relatively strong. The prequel elements here focusing on how the character of Eve Willkins got her powers remain the most nuts and bolts genre storytelling humanly possible. One can’t even make the standard “ Oh. Britta’s in this!” gag for anything featuring Gillian Jacobs. The adult version of Eve doesn’t make an appearance. In the age of the current actors and writers strike this feels like a somewhat cynical move so they don’t have to play Jacobs for reprising the role in this extra episode ( assuming she will be back in season 2.) Only one of the three main voices on the show gets more than a single line. It is nice to see the late Lance Reddick pop up in a supporting role. Mainly to avoid his final project having to be a certain disastrous nerd-adjacent property adaptation. With a particular scene involving a villain dancing to Dua Lipa ( if you know you know.) This special did little to convince this viewer that his initial opinion of Invincible as a show is likely to change that drastically if he decided to watch through the upcoming season.
5/10.

Mission Impossible. Dead Reckoning: Part One. Movie Review.

After two lengthy pre-credits sequences, the latest Mission Impossible film hits you with the one-two punch of the phrase “a Tom Cruise production” and the starring credit for the man himself back-to-back. On one level this is an absurdly overpowered flex on the audience but it’s also innately justifiable. Ask anyone who has seen any Tom Cruise vehicle in the last five to eight years They will be able to tell you exactly what a modern Tom Cruise production looks like. The man may be mad as a box of frogs on so many different levels but boy does he know how to put himself in imminent danger doing some of the most insane yet well-crafted set pieces money can buy. Then selling it to an audience who are more than happy to receive it. The three entries since Cruise and collaborator Christopher McQuarrie rebranded the franchise into a spectacle/stunt-focused series are varying levels of incredible. This author’s expectations for Dead Reckoning: Part One the first half of the supposed final entries in the series were sky-high. His plans for the opening weekend were to take in an IMAX screening. Did Cruz and Macquarie deliver with this latest instalment?
Yes. Fallout might still be the best film in this franchise and the absolute pinnacle of modern action movies but the first half of Dead Reckoning gets incredibly close. It might not be as perfectly formed as a pure 2 1/2 hour adrenaline rush of the last film with the slightly longer running time at 161 minutes despite minimal plot but the sense of jaw-dropping excitement and action euphoria is still present and correct. Especially with the post-title extended first act a genuinely unreal thrill ride and the two set pieces that make up the best finale you will see in movies this year. As the MCU fades from a certain level of irrelevance with the super mainstream public it’s nice to see series newcomers Hayley Atwell and Pom Klementieff deliver the kind of performances that could vault their names up a considerable bit higher on desirable casting lists beyond the Marvel machine. There is also the acknowledgement that one needs the second part to assess how Dead Reckoning works as a complete whole Much as both are 10/10 in their own right the very soft cliffhanger here works a lot better as an individual piece than the much h harsher one in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
To say that Dead Reckoning: Part One is more of the same that the franchise has established across the previous three entries might seem like damning with incredibly faint praise. Yet with a series that has kept the quality this high since it rebranded itself it almost doesn’t matter. Over the last 10 years, McQuarrie and Cruise have set a new standard for the Hollywood action movie. Whether they can deliver more in vain with the second half remains to be seen. It’s hard to bet against McQuarrie and Cruise.
10/10.

The Flash. (2023) Movie Review. (Mild Spoilers)

Let’s get one thing out of the way first. Ezra Miller should be in jail 10 times over. The very fact the final cut of The Flash staring them has seen worldwide theatrical distribution is fairly definitive proof that so-called “cancel culture” doesn’t actually exist. This author is normally a big believer in separating the art from the artist. That said some of the actions taken by Miller in their attempt to recreate” What if Homelander was real” read like the actions of a genuine supervillain This viewer would not begrudge anyone for boycotting the film on a moralistic level. That said with so little coming out theatrically these days there came a point where it was the only thing amongst what was playing this author hadn’t seen. By this time the box office numbers had come in with the film flopping hard enough that Miller and his career will be consigned to the dustbin of history after this. Nevertheless one tries to go into everything with an open mind. What did this viewer find?
Let’s make one thing clear. Regardless of the film star and their actions despite the years of development hell the final product comes across as a generic facsimile of mediocre 2023 superhero movies all the way down. A vague attempt to recreate the alchemy of Spider-Man: No Way Home with a DC-centric multiverse story. Combined with an actor whose performance has always come across like a first corporate escapade into “baby’s first awkward/cringe comedy.” The fact the plot requires two of them with one or both in nearly every scene gets grating very fast. Alas backing up the idea that if Wanner/Discovery were not going to bin this thing entirely recutting or recasting Miller’s role would have been virtually impossible. Certain attempts at humour have already aged horrifically specifically because Miller is the one delivering them. Add on some horrific PS2 Cutscene CG visuals that are pretty much as bad as you may have heard The awful visualization of the Speed Force doesn’t appear to be getting enough lambasting compared to the deep fake uncanny valley CG cameos in the third act. You have what is essentially a perfect approximation of the generic 2023 lower-tier blockbusters. A couple of bright spots struggle to bring themselves out of the slop. Especially Michael Keaton who injects his scenes and set prices as Batman “89” with a definite degree of fun and effort when he could have just turned up for the paycheck. Something that is very much the case for Michael Shannon’s return as SnyderVerse Zord. Newcomer Sasha Calle’s take on alternate universe Supergirl is also trying the best she can with a role this thin.

The Flash has enough redeeming moments in its final cut to just about scrape the below rating. Whatever James Gunn and Peter Saffron do with their upcoming soft reboot of the DCU film continuity remains to be seen. That said one of the last offerings from the misbegotten mass of the previous regime is for completionists only. Assuming they can get past the Ezra Miller of it all.
4.5/10.

Bird Box: Barcelona. Movie Review.

In the opening moments of Bird Box: Barcelona as the lead character and his daughter are being chased by a blindfolded gang as is typical in this universe an antagonist says something to the effect of “ I can’t see you but I can kick your ass.” Something might be getting lost in translation from Spanish. At that point, this viewer questions why on earth he was watching this so soon after it dropped rather than tackling the myriad of other better things on his watchlist. The simple answer is that Bird Box and its associated viral challenge may be a bad film but it spawned one of the stupidest viral-related media challenges to ever exist. Not to mention what feels like the most ridiculously obvious ending/ resolution in media history that the narrative treats with a level of terrace it doesn’t deserve. For as immortal and often hilarious as the utilization of that still of Sandra Bullock sitting in the boat blindfolded is for every one of those during its peak a million idiots were putting on blindfolds and filming themselves in danger for viral clout. For roughly the opening act Barcelona doesn’t get into any of this. As with the original film, it’s just a standard apocalypse story that doesn’t lean into the gimmick of the premise. The film does hold one potentially interesting narrative flip up its sleeve that’s very well delivered. It would have had major potential as an avenue for franchise expansion if the writing wasn’t so horrifically functional. In a certain sense that’s all Barcelona can offer. A vaguely nuts and bolts regionalised remake of its American counterpart. That’s before it leans into the premise outside the meme in the second half, even within the context of the narrative. One remembers just how ridiculous the entire cast looked walking around blindfolded. Not to mention what genuine blind viewers think of the mechanics within this universe. Add on a final scene that feels like a clear statement of the Netflix algorithm-mandated continuation of more regionalised sequels with its new mythology editions That feels like a vague threat in a series where no one is watching this for the mythology or its genuine creative merits( unlike the A Quiet Place films. You have a franchise that no one asked for finally trying to haul itself into gear on singular mimetic value only. Unless one is amused by just how ridiculous the mechanics of the universe are there’s no reason to bother with any more forays into the pseudo-blind post-apocalypse.
4/10.

Secret Invasion ( Disney +.) Review. (Mild Spoilers)

Full disclosure. When the MCU restarted post-pandemic this writer intended to cover every TV season and movie from WandadiVision onwards. This watcher subsequently has seen all of phases four and five as it released weekly but gave up on the check-in style reviews following the Falcon and Winter Soldier. Much as the shows especially might offer six to eight episodes of content in theory there’s not a lot to say about most of them. The media narrative at this point has morphed into them having far too much on their release schedule post pandemic and the majority of the mainstream audience checking out post Avengers: Endgame. Well, this is 90% a true statement having now seeing the generally sprawling lack of direction throughout the post-Endgame MCU anyone left from when the MCU was a major pop culture monolith probably lost interest somewhere between Loki and Miss Marvel. Not to say phases four and five haven’t had a couple of bright spots. Shang Chi is one of the best solo Marvel entries one division remains mostly great despite the ending and “Ralph Boner.” Halkeye was mostly very solid and Iman Vellani is FANTASTIC as Kamala Khan even if the pacing of her season sags terribly in the middle. James Gunn to finish his trilogy very ambitiously and effectively. Even on a weekly release schedule miniscule compared to what is offered in the broader contact landscape every week Even for die-hard watches such as this writer the MCU has started to feel like homework. A slot watching whatever show is on at the moment because having invested 15 years in this universe and seen every single second of the main cannon there’s far too much-sunk cost fallacy for this writer to give up now. There’s no better recent example of this than the universe’s adaptation of the Secret Invasion storyline in their latest streaming mini-series effort.
The MCU has been trying to set up the Skrulls as a potential major new threat since they made their debut in the main timeline in 2019. It’s hard not to think that with so many MCU heavy hitters, new characters and recurring favourites in the visual medium adaptation of this arc will be their biggest test to see if the shapeshifting human-forming aliens stick around on a reoccurring basis. Unfortunately, while the series may not be as bad as reported by some it’s a very underwhelming affair. The reoccurring and new cast do their best with the paper-thin material vaguely approximation of an immigrant paranoia story. Similarly, it’s nice to have Samuel L. Jackson make his first mainline appearance in the broader franchise since 2019. That said he’s been playing Nick Fury for 15 years at this point. A lot of his screen time consists of being told by other characters that he’s well past it at this point. With content like this, it’s hard not to think that this may be a metaphor for the MCU’s mainstream dominance as a whole. Otherwise what little meat there is chew on here consists of retcons and exposition to retroactively insert the Skrulls into previous MCU events In one major case inventing a new character to make it so. Add on to completely needless character deaths for no other reason than “because plot. ” There may be some decent action beats (aside from trading in the half-baked narrative for a generic Marvel fight at the end) and redeeming performances. However even as someone who has been on the MCU train for 15 years and will be here until the bitter end Even after a storyline like Secret Invasion with such a high potential but low-effort execution. After the rest of phases four and five, it’s hard not to blame anyone who jumped off the MCU train post Endgame at this point. Even if the mid-season episodes of She-Hulk were most of the audience was just waiting for Charlie Cox to show up. and drowning in an avalanche of atrocious meta “humour” remains the cannon’s deepest low. Within the MCU multiverse, the mention of the name Scott Buck may also send potential shivers down the spine of completeness.
5/10.

Smoking Causes Coughing. Movie Review.

There will always be a debate in movie-watching circles as to who the absolute maddest most esoteric director currently working is. This author would like to throw genuinely insane Frenchman Quentin Duplex into the mix. He came on this viewer’s radar with two films 10 years apart with very salable madcap premises that nevertheless run out of steam relatively quickly. Rubber ( a killer tire named Robert rolls around the desert blowing things up with its telekinetic powers) and Deerskin (Jean Dujardin develops an obsession with his potentially killer deerskin jacket.) Both make great trailers but struggle to maintain any kind of momentum as short full-length features. Nevertheless Duplex is a name to look out for whenever one of his films acquires UK distribution With a poster that looked like a knock of Power Rangers this viewer was keen to see what madness would ensue.
Well, insane Is certainly one way to describe it. In Smoking Causes Coughing a group of anti-tobacco R-rated Power Rangers known as the “tabaco force” are sent on a retreat together by their puppet leader who looks like Dudley from The Muppets after that latest mission has resulted in some OTT splatter This is the framing device for two other short films one of which easily takes the prize for the most absurd thing this watcher has ever seen play out on screen. Duplex will be a decidedly love-it-or-hate-it affair if one is not familiar with any of his previous work. The anthology structure here means that his ridiculousness doesn’t run out of steam nearly as fast as the two previous films this viewer has seen. There’s a certain amount of joy to be had in a “just when you have seen everything a film can throw at you” sort of way laughing at the sheer bonkers nature of every single decision. Not only with this viewer want to know who gives funding for Duplex to make such singular off-the-wall pieces but this viewer wouldn’t be lying if he said he also wanted to inherit Duplex’s brain for a glimpse inside the mind of a man whose imagination consists entirely of coming up with the most off the wall ideas imaginable. That said very rarely can this viewer say he had no idea what was coming next when watching a film. On some level, this is incredibly commendable.
7/10.

Elemental. Movie Review.

Being a die-hard Pixar fan in 2023 who has been lucky enough to attend multiple UK premieres of their work is a weird prospect in 2023. This writer will be ride or die for them whatever they put out opening weekend theatrically. Nevertheless estimating how much brand damage sending two of their very best modern offerings and another distinctly above-average one straight to Disney + will be hard to fully quantify until years down the line but it seems pretty immediate as of right now. It certainly doesn’t help that the studio’s big return to theatres was Lightyear. A pleasant but forgettable space adventure. More interesting for the bizarre discourse it spawned for the convoluted to explain but not actually watch nature of the premise. Then we have Elemental. The marketing here did nothing more than give the impression of the most basic level golden age Pixar facsimile possible. The question is was this impression accurate?
Sort of. Elemental was modestly better than this writer was expecting. The world-building within the titular Element City is really fun and has a ton of untapped potential. Even if it feels like some of that will now be realised in fanfiction and Rule 34 art. The animation ranges from strong to stunning and generally watching the film go through the motions of the Pixar formula is a pretty pleasant experience. That’s kind of the problem though. The film very much feels like Pixar’s attempt to reestablish its template of making grown men cry. They have done this with a central romance between are fire and water element protagonists that’s nowhere near as effective as it should be. Watching the Pixar formula play out on characters nowhere near as emotionally invested as their better material is a very weird experience. The film is certainly a better return to the theatrical space than Lightyear but it doesn’t touch any of the three straight-to-streaming offerings in modern Pixar creative rankings Much as Elemental seems to have recovered a little bit from its initial box office flop it certainly lower-tier Pixar (although not touching Cars 2 at the very bottom.) The sort of effort better suited for streaming. Something this author wouldn’t say about the three of the actual Disney + straight-to-streaming Pioxar theatrical offerings.
6.5/10.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Season 5. Review (Mild Spoilers)

After being one of the initial breakout hits for Amazon The Marvellous Ms Maisel ( hit a decided peak at the end of season 3. This writer got to the show late and watched those initial three seasons over six months. The soft cliffhanger at the end of the third season left a distinct feeling of “Where do you go from here? ” After Midge (Rachel Brosnahan )got fired by Shy Baldwin (LeRoy McClain) it felt like the show had stalled in depicting its rise to fame narrative. What story there was left to tell? Especially when you go into season 4 and realize at this point the show was mostly spinning its wheels. These are still great characters and fun performances but the narrative sort of retreated into what can only be described as the archetypical version of itself When it was announced the already renewed fifth season most going to be the last it seemed like an obvious move. This viewer was still intended to watch to complete the show’s run but did not approach the final outing with any great incitement which He would see as a fairly good indicator regarding how the show had lost some of its lustre throughout the last season. Nevertheless, the final outing for Midge and company rolled around with not much fanfare compared to other prestige TV shows that were airing at the time. What did this view find?
Well. Roughly 1/3 within this final season of Mrs Maisel is quietly one of the most ambitious seasons of TV this author has seen in recent memory from a show that seemed very content to mostly rest on its laurels as it ran out the clock. The other 2/3 are roughly what you would expect if one has been with the show up until this point. The completion of our rise to fame narrative for our heroine who eventually gets her four-minute big break that sends her off into the stratosphere of stardom. The remaining material is where the interesting stuff lies. Throughout the season a series of nonlinear flash-forwards gives us a snapshot of what the ensemble of characters got up to over the next 40 years within the universe’s timeline. This might sound like a standard convention to employ as part of the epilogue material within the finale itself but the fact that these are sprinkled throughout the entire nine-episode run is what makes them so effective in a show that was desperately in need of a shot of creative energy. The fact it leads to some of the show’s best material. The section focusing on Susie (Alex Borstein) as a disaffected talent agent in the 80s after building her career of Midge becoming a household name which is covered in what might be a strong contender for the show’s best-ever episode. These won’t be for everyone. Ultimately they do leave a lot of potentially interesting plot material from these stretches feeling like dangling threads but they were elements that always kept this viewer on his toes.

The finale itself is also remarkably strong. There is nothing in it that will surprise but it ends the story on its terms while this show still has its distinct creative voice Very much intact. While this swan song may be far from the show at its height it’s one of the most interesting and engaging examples of “you have one season left. Complete your story.”

7.5/10.
Finale. 9/10

Good Omens 2. “Prime Premiere” Theatrical Screening (Epesodes 1-2 Review.

We all know that feeling when even if one expects a particular piece of media to be above average in its return it could just be more of the same. This writer could not think of a more acute example of this them when it was announced that there was going to be a follow-up season ( with clear hopes to make it an ongoing thing) for the Amazon/BBC TV adaptation of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens. The source material became an immediate favourite of this writer experiencing it for the first time as prep for a festival screening of the TV adaptation in its entirety. The TV version is certainly a strong transition of some brilliant material but is mostly carried by an incredible cast covering for the fact the BBC/Amazon don’t really have the budget to do justice to the full scale of the story ( with some notably dodgy CG in places.) This is especially true of Michael Sheen and David Tennant who represent two of the most perfect pieces of casting this viewer can ever remember. To say they were born to bring Aziraphale and Crowley to life on screen is a massive understatement. Even if the follow-up was not a lot more than our dynamic duo causing shenanigans at various points throughout time and history it would still likely be a fun enough time. Knowing that Amazon has trialled advanced theatrical presentations of some of their TV material in the past this author was quite keen when he found tickets to an early advanced theatrical screening of the first two episodes. Both to see what our central pair got up to and what the creative team would do with what is effectively a back slate this time around. What did they manage to pull off?
. One mild to moderate reservation aside it’s fair to say that if one is invested enough to care and have emotional investment in a Good Omens follow up they will likely enjoy what Good Omens 2 the TV season has to offer ( at least based on this first two episodes ) On some level it’s a lot of what one might expect but those behind this software offering really have tried and mostly succeeded in effectively using the TV version to conceptualise what a sequel story might have looked like if cratchit and gaming had Actually gone forward with making good omens a full series of novels. There’s a fair amount of the expected fan fiction like Time travel mischief-making but also enough plot momentum to feel like a solid B-tier sequel to a classic text. It certainly helps that all the returning cast have not missed a beat delivering the fast, sharp and funny dialogue as if they have been doing it for years. Special mention to a returning and very game Jon Hamm who takes a somewhat basic plot device as the basis for his performance. He brings the most comedic value out of said device that you probably can. The final product radiates a pleasant often hilarious good time beyond the two central performances ( which remain absolutely perfect) once again.

The one major drawback comes with the fact that much as there is still some scale in the new material conceptually this has clearly been hampered somewhat by the fact the production sparse use of sets and locations has “ made under COVID regulations” stamped all over it. That said it was certainly not deal-breaking for this viewer. The scale was the one thing the original adaptation could never really achieve and this season’s take on an original story is still able to retain and maintain what makes these characters and the universe so beloved.
If you enjoyed the original Good Omens across either of its main forms this viewer is pleased to report that despite the scaled-back presentation utilizing the TV show as a means to craft sequel stories has proved very successful with this first outing. Nothing here you would not expect but it’s not the complete autopilot fest coasting off the two central performances it might have been. Based on his impressions here this writer is really looking forward to working his way through the remaining four episodes
8.25./10

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Movie Review.

It was inevitable that Disney/Lucasfilm would eventually circle back around and apply the legacy sequel formula that they cemented with The Force Awakens on George Lucas and friends’ other major franchises while Harrison Ford was still around. Hence we have Dial of Destiny which sees Ford don the hat and bullwhip in his 80s to go on a globetrotting mcguffin hunt with Phoebe Waller-Bridge playing his long-lost goddaughter. The film’s somewhat tepid reception was somewhat surprising given that director James Mangold seems like an extremely safe pair of hands for the project. Especially after having made a genuinely fantastic swan song for a beloved character and performance (that is in the process of being undone by Deadpool) on his CV. Nevertheless, this view is still wanting with an open mind.
Dial of Destiny is… fine. It’s trying very hard to recapture the classic serial adventure style that not only spawned this franchise in the first place but also its separate legion of imitators. It does a decent enough but unspectacular job of this. Ford is certainly not phoning it in as much as he could be and Waller-Bridge isn’t as annoying as her distinctly overexposed media personality. The fanservice is here but not to the point of being distracting. The set pieces are very watchable but remarkably unspectacular for this sort of thing. Part of it is obviously down to our lead star being in his 80s. The other element is Tom Cruise and his collaborators setting the bar so high for this kind of material in 2023 that it’s hard for anything else to compete. The whole thing is desperately trying to give Ford and his interpretation of the character a more dignified send-off than the more off-the-wall elements of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It’s the best sequence is the much-discussed extended prologue which regardless of The de-aging elephant in the room comes closest to recapturing the spirit of the original trilogy. Technology has now progressed enough that from a technical implementation point of view, the effects are fairly convincing Where this choice falls down is in whatever vocal processing they have or haven’t used in selling the audience on young Indy. He still very much sounds like older Harrison Ford. It’s the exact uncanny valley typical of this kind of material. For its first two acts proceedings chug along fairly inoffensively Then… it goes insane.
No hyperbole here. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny has one of the wildest third-act swings for the fences for a blockbuster of its size that this viewer has seen in many years. While still very much attempting to make sense within the universe and have thematic resonance for Jones’s character journey. To think this comes across as so wild from a series that already has Nazis, The Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail and Aliens in its DNA is an impressive feat. Even more so when you consider the last collaborative theatrical release between the two men produce this here with The Rise of Skywalker A movie safe to the point of parody that everyone involved beyond the blinded mega fans could call it out for the hollow abomination that it is. One may hate the third act of Dial Destiny just as much as the titular Star Wars entry. That said the last thing anyone can accuse it of is not having the creative ambition. Something that both the Rise of Skywalker and the two acts proceeding within Dial of Destiny have limited to negligible amounts of.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is an incredibly safe legacy sequel by numbers until an absolutely bonkers final act smashes its way through. The success of this will have wildly differing opinions on both sides but it honestly makes the film worth seeing regardless of what else it has to offer. If only Lucasfilm took that kind of creative risk regularly. Shame it doesn’t save the rest from being aggressively mediocre
5.5/10.

Asteroid City. Movie Review

This watcher has a weird relationship with Wes Anderson. Isle of Dogs and Moonrise Kingdom are in the top three releases for the years they came out. 10 out of 10 masterpieces. All his other work over the last 10 years ranges from forgettable to smartingly twee to insufferable. Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox is easily this viewer’s most overrated film of all time. Yes, it looks beautiful but talk about a supposed kids’ movie(or certainly one that adapts one of the most famous pieces of children’s literature ever created) that isn’t aimed at the target audience. Instead, it’s squarely aimed at insufferable Letterboxed/#filmtwiter hipsters. That said sitting down for each new Anderson it’s something of a roulette wheel-esque spin for this viewer. Sure we might get another Moonrise Kingdom or Isle of Dogs but there’s also plenty of chance for quaint pleased with itself nonsense. What do we get here?

Well, it’s another Wes Anderson movie. The thing with Asteroid City is that in theory, its use of a dual structure roughly 1/3 of screen time focused on Edward Norton as a world-famous writer and 2/3 on said play set in the titular town of the title should give this more chances to have a stronger emotional through line beyond just being yet another notch on Anderson’s creative belt. In practice, it’s just another thinly veiled excuse for a mudires row of A, and B listers to turn up, deliver 5 minutes of Anderson dialogue and then leave. Those not on this thing’s wavelength immediately will be thrown off instantly with no characters or effective through lines to hold on to This combined with the over stylizedmixed media and flexible aspect ratio cinematography and the set for the central town that feels sparse yet production-designed to with him an inch of its life all comments part of Wes Anderson starter pack several times over at this point. There’s a bit of mild hope in the opening of the second act where the title develops yet another reading as to what type of story this is (which is much more obvious than the film thinks it is. This peters out quickly and goes back to Anderson doing his usual filmmaking stick. It’s far from the worst thing ever and there are enough chuckle-worthy moments to not write the film off as a complete failure. The film may also develop a certain level of historical importance or the fact that Anderson is a big enough name that he can get away with having something in a PG-13/12A movie that this viewer amended would be an automatic R rating despite only being on screen for seconds. A textbook example of a director having enough clout even within a certain niche to skirt past the censors. Other than that Asteroid City is really for Anderson fans only at this point. Maybe he will make another film that isn’t caught up its ass. A simultaneously singular yet basic and autopilot-induced artistic vision. This watcher would not count on it though.
5/10.

Notes on Break Point Part 2.

The first half of the first season of Netflix Break Point didn’t do a great deal to establish itself outside the formula of its genre of sports documentaries. Beyond the fact this was the tennis seemed hesitant to show the audience any actual tennis being played through a combination of tropes and weird editing choices. This writer and fan went into excessive detail with his review of the first five episodes. A lot of the same can be said about the recently released second half. This author wanted to quickly circle back and cover a few talking points from the remaining half-season. What was this viewer expecting going in? Honestly, more of the same as he covered previously. Let’s get into what he found 

• Across the Wimbledon 2022, two parter that opens this second batch there is no mention whatsoever of Wimbledon and by extention the LTA decision to ban Russian and Belarusian players thanks to actions of their government’s actions against Ukraine from the entirety of the 2022 British grass court season. Both tours docked all relevant event ranking points as a result. The reason why this has been done is obvious. Both bodies took huge financial losses and negative press over this decision. As a stakeholder in this series, they would not want to end up with even more eggs on their proverbial face. Across this entire season, it feels like the most blatant omission in terms of missing context/material that is too thorny for a puff piece like this to get into for casual fans and those who may be watching this year down the line when a certain amount of it will have faded into memory. Even more so than the (now resolved) Nick Kyrgios domestic violence case being sailed over in Part One. He’s briefly asked about it in a clip featured in these episodes. 
• There’s the expected continued focus on Kyrgios in the Wimbledon episodes. That said this author was distinctly unprepared for the revelation that he checked himself into hospital after Wimbledon 2019 after contemplating suicide and was self-harming is a pretty stunning revelation. T’he sort of material that feels far above a distinctly surface-level piece such as this one. Much as Kyrgios has been an insufferable discourse magnet a lot of the time the fact he is willing to put this out there and have the information be in the public consciousness deserves huge respect. It has all the impact that something like Naomi Osaka’s press refusal at Roland Garros 2021 desired but never really achieved (much has both of their perspectives on mental health are valid. )  
•    Stefanos Tsitsipas listening to his own homemade R&B very much fits with his existing social media and interview persona in a highly amusing way.  
• The fact the mid-season premiere ends on a cliffhanger halfway through the Tsitsipas vs. Kyrgios third-round match tells you everything about who this show is aimed at. 
• The following episode might be the best of the series simply because by having access to both of the beaten finalists in the singles it offers the most complete picture of their route through the tournament. Nevertheless was nice to see some footage of Ons Jabeurs Tunisian homecoming as an epilogue to her final run. 
• There’s a moment when some spliced-in audio from The Tennis Podcast of Catherine Whittaker plate paying Nick Kyrgios a compliment. This was quite striking at the time it aired because it came out of relative nowhere given how much Whitaker and the other two co-hosts tend to treat Kyrgios as an avatar for someone whose talent means he gets far too many chances despite his antagonistic behaviour. This episode is desperate to frame his final run as the moment Kyrgios  finally grows up and commits to the sport. There was a certain amount of discussion of this at the time but in reality, Kyrgios will always be Kyrgios. You can very easily find audio of Whitaker and the TPP team lambasting him over the coals if one feels so inclined. 
• The first chunk of the US Open two partner focuses heavily on Taylor Fritz, his incoming hype and his first-round loss to Brandon Holt. What the material doesn’t tell you is that Holt is the son of former US Open champion,wonderkin staple of the modern punditry scene Tracy Austin. Beyond the inevitable Nepotisim Baby arguments this additional context that the makers of a documentary like this would eat up if they had greater access. 
• The Serena Williams U.S. Open run gets its expected airtime. Having watched the episode on the day where Anett Kontaveit announced her premature Degenerative Disc induced retirement knowing that she was in this season but is only utilized in terms of newly filmed material for her role this section was supriseing negative. Especially with Kontaveit being the world’s number two at the time. 
• The producers lucked into Ajla Tomljanović being the one to end Serenna’s run and used this fairly effectively. Following the build-up focusing on Tomljanovićs’s downtime and interpersonal relationships around this match might be the most successful this show has been at establishing the interests and goals outside of tennis. She had broken up with Berrettini by this point who is barely mentioned in Part 2. 
• Only filming with Iga Świątek and Carlos Alcaraz in the penultimate episode feels like a massive own goal from those putting the season together.The Świątek streak is only covered in retrospective passing when it might have been the potential linchpin of the first half. Nevertheless, she gets distinctly more screen time than Alcaraz who is only given a couple of lines to introduce himself. For someone with such a human highlight real quality (something they both share) this is massively disappointing. Even more so when Alcaraz’s U.S. Open title win isn’t featured at all. 
• Frances Tiafoe’s party bus looks fun. 
• The final episode that tries to condense the followed players’ experience at the ATP and WTA finals simultaneously is a damp squib Aryna Sabalenka and her ongoing media narrative are a good fit for this type of series but once again to only introduce it at this point in the series feels like a big missed opportunity. Simultaneously well there is an actual acknowledgement of the ongoing Ukraine/Russia conflict here from Sabalenka’s perspective as a Belarussian feels like the absolute minimum a puff piece like this can get away with rather than addressing it during the Wimbledon episodes where it should have been most relevant. 
• Fritz has a son from a previous relationship. You learn something new every day.  

Ultimately the full first season of Break Point has its moments but tennis is a sport that is fluid and worldwide enough that this author is decidedly unsure that a show of this stripe could ever truly succeed with the sheer number of stakeholders required to get it to air. Much as the second batch of episodes is a slight improvement one can expect logic leaps and storytelling gaps. Ultimately this viewer feels somewhat obliged to watch future seasons as this show may end up being one of the major windows into sport he loves for the general public in the future. Whether this is an entirely great thing though remains to be seen   

Part 2 rating. 6/10.  

Season 1 rating. 5.5/10.  

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken. Movie Review

Having seen over 40 DreamWorks Animation movies theatrically over the last 20 years there are a lot of peeks and valleys. Mostly valleys. They emerged from the pandemic with two films that felt like a huge step in the right direction. In theory, this would allow them to distinguish themselves from the fact our favourite moon-sitting boy now shares a stable with the Minions of Illumination
Now we are right back to something that conjures the kind of mid-tier material and impression viewers have when they think of DreamWorks outside certain franchises. A vague approximation of corporate YA aiming at a slightly older target ( 8-12 olds as opposed to the under 8s ) coming of age story as the titular Teenage Kraken finds her place in the world. All while controlling her instincts in an attempt to control her instincts from descending into the titular sea monster. Imagine a clone of Pixar’s Turning Red but with none of the pathos or brain cells Instead what you have here is a YA script that feels about 10 years out of date with a very “ how do you do fellow kids” quality and the expected stilted jokes combined with conventional pop song needle drops. All are remarkably hackneyed at this point. There’s some above-average animation in places ( although this can vary) The film is far from the worst in its variety of middle-of-the-road family fair but It’s hard not to think that anyone from the slightly shifted target audience won’t have the feeling of being told down to by their parents in an attempt to make the latter seem cool. Ultimately Ben Folds did a better job of capturing this sense of sanitized angst for Dreamworks in 4 minutes and 55 seconds 17 years ago then then this film released in 2023 does when it peters out at 80 minutes. Excluding lengthy credits with the conventional to the point of meme-worthy dance party ending. Onto Trolls: Band Together we go.
4/10. .
PS. Discovering the origina Rockin’ the Suburbs earlier this year after only being familiar with the DreamWorks version was the sort of genuine surprise this writer would never expect.

Greatest Days. Movie Review

In this author’s mind, the original Mamma Mia movie is a strong contender for the greatest/worst thing ever created. It has enough self-awareness to have some sort of handle on the party atmosphere but nowhere near enough to realize just how effectively the final product is a bucket of camp cheese. This is perfectly encapsulated by the Lay All Your Love On Me sequence as the chorus of shirtless six-packed men and their flippers and budgie smugglers harrumph down the pier. Their plastered smiles and karaoke delivery completely upstage Amanda Seyfried and Dominic Cooper. The problem is that both eventual Mamma Mia films were successful enough that the British film industry has effectively made a small niche out of trying to recreate the Lightning in a bottle camp classic every few years. The latest attempt comes courtesy of this feature adaptation of the Take That jukebox musical focusing on Ashling Bee reuniting her group of friends on a trip to Rome in an attempt to see a reunion tour of Take That self-insert band “The Boys” ( who sing all the former groups chart hits) whilst also flashing back to showcasing just how obsessed the group of schoolgirls were with the titular “Boys” during their 90s heyday. This viewer has no particular attachment to any of Take That catalogue beyond their revival songs being all over UK pop radio in 2007 but much as it probably wouldn’t be good he has nothing against this adaptation or the band in concept. what did he find?
It’s important to state right up front that while Greatest Days is a terrible film the target audience won’t care. 40-something wine mums that go to screenings and events like this to get drunk and relive their 90s heyday are very much a demographic to cater to in this film mostly does that. It doesn’t mean that anyone outside said target audience can’t call the film out as being a pile of unbelievably cheap cheesy nonsense that tries for a level of emotional resonance it doesn’t deserve. From the opening musical numbers with hilariously overdone yet inexpensive choreography with the titular “Boys” coming out of kitchen cupboards to the major Mumma Mia from Wish vibes for the staging of Could It Be Magic the tone is set fast and early. All the choreography here looks like it was imported from a community theatre production of Magic Mike Live It has two moments of unbelievably creepy celebrity fetishization for the subject. In 2023 this viewer thought we were well past the point of a character outright stating that they want to get impregnated by the titular band. Or another baffling moment where a separate character insists they had consensual no-touch sex well at one of the band’s members The entire thing fluctuates between mildly embarrassing and surprisingly disturbing. That’s before you tack on the narrative’s faceplant at trying to tackle the pathos of the characters doing the titular trip to the concert in memory of their dead friend. Or the fact that it’s briefly shown that one of the characters comes from an abusive home. The entire thing is glorified karaoke and that’s all this was ever going to be. Even in that context, the audience for this type of material deserves so much better. The first Mamma Mia is the proverbial Dancing Queen of the genre by accident.
3/10.

Reality. Movie Review.

For someone who has not been around that long in the context of a broader career the discourse around Sydney Sweeney as the closest thing modern Hollywood has to a new sex symbol within the last 5-10 years but also an actress who wants to be taken seriously in her own right already feels very fully formed. Hence we have Reality for which Sweeney picked up some early Oscar buzz for her performance as US Air Force veteran/translator turned US- Russia 2016 election information leaker Reality Winner. The very stagey three-handed adapting director
Tina Satter’s stage play is a dramatization of Winner’s initial interrogation by the FBI in 2018. As a feature of the piece never gets over said staginess but it is intense engrossing and well-acted. Even at a swift 82 minutes the one-dimensional emotional register of the drama ( to be inspected in some ways. After all it’s dramatizing an interrogation) can get both tiring and tiresome by the time the credits roll. As a showcase for Sweeneys acting chops it’s a very solid offering although she has played similar characters that are in way over their heads in oppressive environments in the past ( her first major role was an arc on the Hulu Handmaid’s Tale after all) The film also feels like a much better fit for HBO than the full theatrical release it has received in the UK thanks in large part to being a clearly COVID induced production with limited locations and resources. This is not a knock against the final product necessarily but it did make this author question why the film had been pushed as a potential theatrical award-season play. before the rights being acquired by a company that shifts the awards ceremony it will be eligible for. Nevertheless despite the feeling there’s only so far a drama like this can go and limits to what it can achieve thanks to the strong performances and effective albeit slightly one-dimensional delivery Reality it’s decidedly worth 82 minutes of viewer’s time. Just perhaps not when released theatrically.
7/10.

No Hard Feelings. Movie Review

Easily the worst trailer and marketing campaign combo of the post-COVID theatrical period to say this viewer’s expectations we’re at rock bottom for this new Jennifer Lawrence R-rated sex comedy is a massive understatement. Off-putting premise ( two parents effectively employ Jennifer Lawrence to flirt with their very bookish and reserved teenage son in an attempt to make him less socially awkward. ) Unbelievably lame double entendre in the title and marketing that consists of Jennifer Lawrence delivering the lamest hard R rated punchlines possible well Nicki Minajs basderizatean of the Superfreak/U Can’t Touch This beat plays in the background made this watcher cringe every time the trailer came on when seeing another screening. Not to mention the film comes from the director of Good Boys. A film that applies the same set of Distinctly R-rated comedy principles to a cast of 12-year-olds and leaves it at that. Nevertheless, this watcher pretty much sees everything released theatrically and still went into his screening of the full film with something of an open mind. It would be impressive to be worse than that trailer. What did he find?
The final product comes across as a much stranger tonal mishmash than was clearly intended. The odd thing about No Hard Feelings is that on some level leads Jennifer Lawrence and Andrew Barth Feldman are trying to give actual performances in what is at least on some level able to overcome the distinctly icky premise as a surprisingly sweet R-rated friendship comedy. The problem is the other half of the film is still very much saddled with delivering on the horrifically unfunny throwback sex comedy the trailer wants to sell its audience. Not in a way that might have been interesting as a blackly comedic flip on the Dear Evan Hansen premise ( especially since Feldmann’s main credit is playing Evan Hansen on stage.) That might have had potential. Although as a cinema goer whose main introduction to Evan Hansen was. the movie adaptation this writer would argue. the parents seemed equally as manipulative as the title character. Instead, the other main tonal element for No Hard Feelings s convincing audiences the creative team here have not grown up since 1999. When you’re comedy is soundtracked by scenes containing unironic needle drops for both Nelly’s Hot in Here and Billy Squires’s The Stroke everything feels about a millisecond away from descending into a scene of a random dudebro doing a Bloodhound Gang impression imitating the hook of The Bad Touch like it’s the funniest thing ever created. No, thank you! There is one scene in this comedic wasteland that did elicit a chuckle out of this watcher and is likely the set piece from this film that pop culture will remember in the long term but it’s certainly not funny enough to merit a viewing individually. The most telling choice in the film might be casting Ebon Moss-Bachrach in a two-scene role. (one of which is in the trailer.) Wouldn’t want to be upstaged by an actor that could deliver this kind of caustic material more effectively in his sleep, now would we?
No Hard Feelings is better than the trailer might suggest but it’s still a very weird juxtaposition where half of it kind of works and the other half distinctly doesn’t. Die-hard Jennifer Lawrence fans who will get a kick out of seeing her return to the big screen delivering this kind of material might get something out of it. Otherwise, this feels like a streaming movie that Sony has released theatrically expecting it to make some money on star power alone.
5/10.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts. Review.

Say what you will about the Bayformers. For the undisputed crimes against cinemas as all the entries past the first one are ( with a lot of that first entry setting the formula that enabled Michael Bay to dial up his explosion fetish to 11 with the sequels and indulge in every poor taste joke and trope one can imagine into four films that are the greatest examples of cinematic endurance tests one can find with the second entry easily being this viewer’s least favourite film of all time. It’s not even close either. For as lacking in anything resembling a redeeming quality as those films are, they are packed to the gills with mimetic moments and jaw-dropping atrocities that any new viewer is not going to forget anytime soon. Thankfully after those films sputtered out with The Last Knight we got Bumblebee. A genuinely great coming-of-age “Girl and her robot” film that not only understood its formula but replaced Bay’s soulless gaping cash machine with a sense of genuine heart and soul that Bay and his enablers can only dream of. Unfortunately despite doing deservedly well with critics and the people that saw it didn’t do well enough for Paramount liking to be the blueprint for the franchise going forward. Hence five years later we have Rise of the Beasts. Another attempt to soft reboot this time slotting two actresses Hollywood is attempting to make major next big things in Anthony Ramos and Dominique Fishback into the central human roles and casting other celebrities as the bland robots aside from the expected return of Peter Cullen. Although the trainers weren’t great necessarily there was still reason to have hope here. Perhaps we could get another Bumblebee. If anything else this watcher’s weird emotional connection to the franchise’s previous live-action abominations combined with his fandom for theatrically released 3D meant he was going to check out the 7th entry on opening weekend. Is this another step in the right direction?
Not really. Don’t get this right or wrong. Rise of the Beasts is nowhere near as unforgivable as the Bay films at their worst. Gone are the Robo testicles, scenes explaining Romeo and Juliet laws, introducing your recast female lead with of her ass, animal-based urinating/dry humping “gags” casual sexism, casual racism, and militarism to the point of parody or Titus Welliver explaining to the audience that his face is indeed his warrant. All these things happen in previous Bayformers at some point ( many multiple times over) Rise of the Beasts is effectively what you would get if you stripped out all the bad taste stuff that ultimately does give the Bay films a sense of identity but still leaving the bare bones of his formula discarding what made Bumblebee such an effective surprise The entire thing represents the most plainly watchable but not that interesting or engaging “white bread with no butter” of modern blockbuster filmmaking. Fishback and Ramos do offer likeable central performances but the human characters still feel entirely unnecessary. The action scenes are better than what Bay can offer not feeling as much like a parody of themselves but not doing a lot more than giving audiences the ability to say “That was a Transformers film I saw” That is until a hilariously blatant and baffling example of “cinematic universe bait” closes the film out in a way that left this viewer howling with laughter in the worst way possible. It’s a choice and example of this genre that gives off major “Dark Universe” energy. Wherever Hasbro decide to carry out the threat they teased with that final scene remains to be seen.
Transformers Rise of the Beast is not as bad as it might have been but isn’t particularly good either. Effectively a soft remake of the first two Bayformers without Bay it offers little else to go on. The better human characters make everything more tolerable but the final product remains rather lifeless for all but the most diehard fans. Not a lot more than the filming equivalent. of the “but it came out in 2007” meme that unironically, recreates the ending of the first Bay film and puts it over other media/ franchise entries. Opening Linkin Park. piano notes and iconic Chester Bennington howl (RIP) not included.
5/10.

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre. Review

Like him or loathe him Guy Ritchie certainly works fast. He’s made four films since being the director for hire on Disney’s live-action Aladdin in 2019. That may be in part because the film discussed here sat on the shelf for the best part of two years. This was due to some unfortunate timing with a subplot involving Ukrainian villains and the worldwide closure of its initial producers. As with his previous film Wrath of Man, Amazon bought the UK right after STX folded And much as one could say It was dumped rather unceremoniously it also happened to be on the front page for all of Amazon for weeks as a marquee title. That said Operation Fortune is very much within Richie‘s wheelhouse but offers a slightly different flavour of his typical machismo. An unbelievably silly James Bond film fan film with the requisite exotic locations and silly character names sees Jason Statham’s renowned agent Fortune bring his team together (including Aubrey Plaza, and British rapper Bugsy Malone) To help convince a movie star (Josh Hartnett to join them on their journey to steal a McGuffin away from Hugh Grant dining out on his Paddington 2 performance once again. The entire thing is unbelievably silly but far more watchable than RAichee po faced efforts to be the British Tarantino. Much as it still feels like yet another example of his creative energy getting the budget to make an elaborate James Bond parody/tribute Operation Fortune isn’t good necessarily but its a slice of an entertainingly ridiculous turn-your-brain-off Friday night fair that it’s hard not to imagine it was in part conceived as a franchise starter. It’s hard to see that happening now given the circumstances of it finally seeing the light of day Given this is decidedly more accessible although far from a good effort from Richie it might still be worth a look if you’re in for some decidedly stupid fun.
5/10.

Missing. Movie Review.

It feels a little bit odd to encounter a sequel to a movie that originally felt like a very late addition to a very small but initially, zeitgeist-focused microgenre. Searching stared John Cho as a father searching for his missing daughter with all the action playing out within the confines of various technology apps and programs available. There were so-called “ “screen life” movies ( the two Unfriended films also got some buzz at the time.) Searching was undeniably the best at crafting a complete narrative within the confines of its premise
Five years later we have Missing. A canonical sequel taking place in the same universe and keeping the core concept but flipping the generations around. Now we have Storm Reed looking for her mother Nia Long after the latter disappears on vacation with her partner. Having a Zoomerr protagonist for this sequel makes a ton of thematic sense. A character with an inbuilt understanding and fundamental use of this sort of technology is extremely useful for expanding the scope and stakes of the story. For the most part, Missing makes good use of this. It’s much pulpier and more ambitious than the first entry whilst maintaining a sense of roller-coaster pacing and plot structure that will keep viewers engaged from start to finish. That said the increased scope does result in the central concept being pushed to near breaking point as we ramp up into the final act. Then there’s a hard genre shift relying on a certain amount of Dues Ex Machina for the narratives endgame. It’s a hard pill to swallow much as this is still a good follow up this shift is one choice that prevents it from achieving the true greatness of the original That said Missing is certainly not a massive downgrade possessing many of the qualities that made the original stand out in its micro-genre.
Missing is a solid follow up maintains a lot of what made Searching great whilst expanding on its formula and ambitions. The mildly misjudged third-act heal turn means it’s not quite as effective overall but the duology is certainly worth checking out if one wants to see what the best of so-called “screen life” movies have to offer.
7/10.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves. Review.

Hey. Remember when the MCU tone wasn’t so thoroughly beaten into the ground and had not become the formula attempting to be aped by everyone? This author says that as someone who is still mostly on board with a lot of what the current MCU is doing. Then you will get a kick out of the new major theatrical offering for Dungeons & Dragons which adopts the same tone but from a period where Kevin Feige and Co were out to prove themselves as young hungry upstarts in the blockbuster game. Chris Pine leads a roguish band of heroes on a quest to find a McGuffin and rescue his daughter (Chloe Coleman) from Hugh Grant’s scenery-chewing nobleman (still very much dining out on his Paddington 2 performance.) The trailers and marketing campaign may look imported straight from 2003 but the final film has won a surprising amount of acclaim and it’s not hard to see why. The entire thing strikes a tonal balance that’s just right between being able to laugh at and with itself without getting too sidetracked into the sort of nerdy detritus that makes Dungeons & Dragons in concept inaccessible with many different negative connotations to a certain audience The fact it’s utilized here for such a ridiculously fun adventure is a massive bonus. It may not quite hit the high points of directors, John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein
Game Night ( easily the best Hollywood studio comedy of the last five years) This is not that far behind cementing the two as surprising signs of quality within the realm of mainstream filmmaking. For viewers not keen on the idea of even checking it out it is distinctly worth their time.
8.5/10

The Little Mermaid. (2013) Review

At this point, the Disney live-action remakes also thoroughly entrenched an easy media punching bag. It might be deming with unbelievably faint praise but The 2023 Little Mermaid is easily the best the mouse house is brought to the table since John Favreau’s Jungle Book. Don’t get this viewer wrong. It’s still got the laundry list of problems that come with the territory and have been firmly established at this point. They are not worth going over yet again. In this specific case, the photorealism elements simply turn Flounder into a fish in the most awkward live-action transition. The visuals range from actively impressive to the muddiness that has come to be a hallmark of these productions. Yet across the board, the cast seems far more engaged with the material than anyone from the myriad of 2019 remakes. This is defined by a genuine star-making turn from Hallie Bailey in the central role. Her rendition of “Part of Your World (Reprise) is genuinely goosebump-inducing stuff. Fittingly or ironically depending on who you ask the last person to deliver a performance this immediately electric in a film debut was the upcoming Snow White remake star Rachel Zegler in Spielberg’s West Side Story remake. Regardless of how their film careers turn out, Bailey has a solid pop career and diehard fan base to fall back on and Zegler has enough natural charisma to appear on niche podcasts in between doing glossy fashion shoots for major fashion lines for the rest of her career The thought of Melissa McCarthy as Ursula will put immediate fear in some viewers. She’s perfectly fine in her translation of the character into the new medium. Her performance could have played more directly into McCarthy‘s existing media personality too much lesser results. In terms of the new material here well none of it is entirely exemplary it’s also not as thuddingly pointless as it has been in the past. Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) gets an expanded role and much as it shot far too darkly lit the climax here actually fuels more effectively fleshed out than in the original. Even Awkwafina’s take on Scuttle getting a Lin Manuel Miranda rap number isn’t nearly as bad as sections of social media will tell you. She has a decent command of the flow and meter of Miranda’s writing. The entire thing is perfectly serviceable. Wait for the inevitable backlash would be that have had their knives out for this thing since minute one to tell you it’s the worst thing ever.
The new live-action Little Mermaid is perfectly fine. That probably means it’s in the top five if not the top three for the Disney live-action remakes. For every inbuilt problem related to the production and general aesthetics of these remakes, this one does do a semi-decent job of fleshing out the material more effectively and giving the story a genuine sense of climax. Those that have made a cottage industry out of hatred for the mining of Disney nostalgia in new forms will hate it regardless. That said having gone in sceptical this viewer was surprised that The Little Mermaid 2023 is perfectly fine in terms of achieving what had set out to do.
6.5/10.

Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse. First Impressions.

Even from the perspective of an animation fan having seen every major US theatrical offering in its first run for the past 20 years, it’s hard to underestimate what an instant impact Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse had. Lord and Miller plus their creative teams had of course laid the groundwork with their work on The Lego Movie and its popularization of the 2.5 D animation style ( technical term still pending) The first Spider-Verse felt like an expansion of this both creatively and stylistically on every single level. It was suddenly the thing everyone wanted to emulate in the same way as the titular Lego Movie, the Pixar golden run that ended in 2010 with Toy Story 3 and Shrek had been before that ( very much in that order.) So the question with the two-part sequel is how on earth do you improve on something that’s perfect out of the gate in every single way and has been so stylistically influential within the American animation landscape? Even with being more mixed on the trailers than this viewer would like this first half was still his most anticipated film of the year. Sitting down for an afternoon IMAX screening on opening day there was still a certain amount of trepidation. Would a retooled creative team for the sequels stick the landing with this first half?
Absolutely. As a die-hard fan of the original watching this Across The Spider-Verse for the first time was a truly overwhelming and euphoric experience. The sort of final product that takes everything that makes the original so special and multiplies it by 10 without losing any of the stylizations or emotionally engaging comic book characters and storytelling at its absolute best.

There’s almost not a lot to say on it beyond that. A monolithic achievement. Given that, a few definitive pieces of 10 out of 10 work have come in the original immediate aftermath ( Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, Arcane Season 1, The Mitchells VS The Machines the franchise‘s return and a massive upgrade in every conceivable way feels like the return of the king taking its place on the creative throne.) With the caveat that no one has seen Hayao Miyazak’si, How Do You Live as of the time of writing and given the opening weekend numbers it’s fair to expect this thing we’ll crush at the box office and dominate all comers when it comes to the animation awards race this season. It certainly deserves to. The fact this latest entry ends on a cliffhanger means that we have to wait and see whether or not they stick the landing. If the third entry maintains the quality Spider-Verse is in immediate conversations with Toy Story and Peter Jackson’s Lord Of The Rings for the greatest film trilogy of all time.
This author would elaborate further but he implores his audience to run not walk to the first screening they can make if they are in any way interested. Across The Spider-Verse takes everything that makes the first entry so spectacular refines and expands it even further to create something truly out of this world. Is it hyperbole to say it is in the conversation for all-time greatness after the film’s opening weekend performance with critics and audiences? Probably. Is this still perfectly possible if the third part of the series comes out and nails it in 10 months? Definitely.
10/10 ( multiple times over.)

Beau Is Afraid Of Making Non-Echo Chamber Audiences Watch Ari Asters Garbage Fire.

For as overrated as this author believes the first two Ari Aster films are neither of them or even particularly bad in this viewer’s mind. They are coasting by on aesthetics and the opening act of Hereditary is genuinely chilling but neither is awful. What is terrible is Aster’s bizarre fandom of critics and #filmtwitter users claiming him to be the next messiah of horror based on two films that average out to perhaps a strong 5 or like 6 out of 10 for anyone not living my life vicariously through themed quizzes on who their “favourite” Succession character is without realizing that that show only has one character archetype. Which flavour of narcissistic, rich, entitled, asshole do you want to be today?

Well then say hello to Beau is Afraid. Three hours
of Aster knowing he can cash his cheque from the audience who have bought into his ponchos for distinctly overwrought pretentiousness. Here that is blown up to the absolute extreme with Joaquin Phoenix going on a literal cock and balls odyssey to absolute nowheresville. To say this is made for the audience of nobodies that will then get unbelievably enraged within their social media echo chambers when it appeals to no one else is a massive understatement. These are all of Aster’s worst qualities as a filmmaker. Paper thin for anyone not entrenched within hyper online film discourse. Phoenix may be one of our best actors but not even he can emerge out of the gaping black hole at the film centre with nothing beyond a sense of gurning hopelessness. There’s a difference between a film that’s actively open to interpretation and something where the filmmaker knows they can put anything in front of a cult audience and expect them to find the meaning within it. Like watching someone attempt to find the nuggets of undigested food as they watch a person they love projectile vomit all over their surroundings Aster crosses the line after roughly 90 seconds and proceeds to do nothing beyond flexing that creative muscle for three exhausting hours. The contempt for said audience here even from the perspective of someone who might find something worthwhile in this pile of incoherent edgelord nonsense is frankly staggering. The fact those exact qualities will get overwritten defences from journalists and writers who like to play down the merits of populist art is baffling It makes the film 10 times worse than it already is on its own merits. In a just world, this would kill Aster’s career 10 times over. The fact this likely won’t be the case even with the expected box office flop of this thing is frankly an embarrassment.
Beau should indeed be afraid of creating a film that’s borderline unwatchable for anyone not immediately on its wavelength from minute 1. Aster’s dalliances s here are not worth engaging for one second longer. Beyond perhaps saying the forms one unironic moment where the sense of absurdism works is centred on a metaphor so basic that it’s hard to believe anyone would think it has any deeper meaning beyond getting a knowingly ironic laugh for how unbelievably out there it is. That said the 45 seconds this moment is on screen out of this three-hour monstrosity is the exclusive reason why this massively audience-unfriendly folly is not getting a 0. Endurance cinema of the worst most unbelievably excruciating kind.
0.5/10

Polite Society. Movie Review

This review is going to come across harsher than this reviewer means it to and that’s a real shame. This plucky British comedy is a solidly fun time for the length audience will spend with it. An aspiring social media martial artist in training (feisty newcomer Priya Kansara) and her friends stage a wedding heist in an attempt to stop her sister( The Umbrella Academy’s Ritu Arya) from being pulled into a British Pakistani arranged marriage. For a low budget-distinctly homegrown affair the film boasts strong performances engagingly exuberant tone and a general sense of inoffensively solid fun. If one likes this specific brand of fantasy-inflected but still grounded martial arts comedy infused with a certain amount of indebtedness to Larrie Nun’s work on Sex Education as most British YA material these days. The problem is with a limited budget and resources for as fun as the piece is on its merits doesn’t come across as anything more than a checklist of influences. This viewer spotted Gurinder Charter, Edgar Wright, Matthew Vaughn and the Daniels among others. Within that context, it’s pretty impressive that the final product of Polite Society is as good as it is. That said having heard the buzz coming out of various film festivals and how hard members of the UK film press went to bat for it during its week of theatrical opening this viewer was expecting a little bit more than what he got. In terms of the British 2023 breakout festival genre movies certainly don’t hold the candle to the magnificent Rye Lane. That said Polite Society a pretty fun time on its own merits regardless, especially for this brand of broadly accessible British crossover comedy. Just dial down the expectations a bit.
7/10.

Daisy Jones and the Six. (Amazon) Review.

Let’s have a look at another one of Amazon’s questionably expensive follies within the streaming world. Daisy Jones and the Six a mini-series adaptation of the popular Taylor Jenkins Read novel via Reese Witherspoon‘s Hello Sunshine brand It’s effectively what would happen if one attempted to pair the added grit and attempted to ground aesthetic from the Bradley Cooper version of A Star Is Born and paired it with a story about what is effectively a glorified Fleetwood Mac tribute act. The results aren’t entirely without some merit. Riley Keogh and Sam Claflin are excellent in the central roles as the band’s leaders and are surrounded by a solid cast of supporting players. The performance sequences do an excellent job of giving our fictional band some level of credibility and also succeed at letting these moments stand alone regardless of their broader context within the narrative. The entire thing is cliché but extremely watchable if one has a fondness for these kinds of sex drugs and rock’n’roll narratives. So why isn’t this better? Well on a basic level while the material isn’t terrible it certainly offers not a lot more than a series of aggressively functional nuts and bolts for this story to build off of. To extend the Star Is Borm 2019 comparison further the season desperately aims for that creative high point during the Shallow sequence where Lady Gaga shreds her voice over the bridge of the titular song. Needless to say, it doesn’t get there. That’s not to say the music is bad. This author would argue it’s pretty good if one likes the 70s pop-rock sound it is going for. That said like with everything else involved in these ten episodes a certain amount of enjoyment involves the acceptance that this particular box of cliches has been done to death.
The TV version of Daisy Jones and the Six is fine for what it’s doing. Especially if one has an affinity for seeing these types of stories on screen. That said beyond some strong performances and effective musical sequences there is nothing new here that elevates the material or makes it all that special. Beyond the fan base for the source material, it wasn’t entirely clear why Bezos and friends had given this such a large rollout on top of its reported $140 million budget as a viewer coming to the miniseries version as his first experience. Especially with an obvious ending that very much relies upon a certain amount of deus ex machina with its final reveal. At the end of the day, this doesn’t matter. The miniseries’ fundamental strengths have enough to recommend the typical target audience for this kind of thing.
6/10.

Swarm. (Amazon.) Miniseries Review. (Spoilers)

Amazon has a history of handing out some bizarre blank checks. That said they clearly think there is enough of the audience for the somewhat niche products produced by the creative teams to see something of a return on their investment. The latest in this category is Swarm. On paper, an offbeat horror thriller co-created by Donald Glover and his team of collaborators in which Dominique Fishback plays a rabid fan of an established but fictional musician whose devotion to the catalogue of said fandom results in her becoming a serial killer following the suicide of her foster sister (Chloe Bailey) Beyond his role as Troy Barnes in Community, this author has limited experience with Glover and his cohort’s more Artur-driven projects which is a large part of the reason he wanted to check this seven-episode season out.

Swarm is a very odd beast. Don’t get It has some very definite elements Of quality in its corner. Its command of upselling tone is second to none. The outbursts of expected violence have solid viscerally. Dominique Fishbach who has been doing good work in supporting parts for years is incredible in the central role. Unfortunately, this season is also thuddingly pretentious, delivered with the subtlety of a sledgehammer and convinced of its own perceived importance. The choice to set this is something of a period piece in 2016 where some of the standard themes discussed within the premise had not crystallized as fully within a social media age context feels like a deliberate deflection on the part of the creative team for how unbelievably basic and out of date the whole thing already feels. Glover’s own This Is America music video may have become a viral sensation in 2018 but this show feels like the product of someone still coasting on that success without any evolution in the themes or ideas discussed. Especially for something you can tell on some level is trying to tap into the zeitgeist of 2023. Anything that the show has to say about fandom, feminism obsession and violence in a social media context has been said before and better on a variety of different platforms. To put this another way This viewer questioned whether he was going to continue after watching the first episode. The opening kill that acts as the cliffhanger was so effective he decided to press on with the full season anyway. He kind of wishes he didn’t. Especially when the season throws in a misdirect true crime documentary-esque recap as the penultimate episode. The minds behind this episode will contest that it has something to say regarding the current media obsession with this genre It. most certainly doesn’t. An interesting change of pace in theory that does not work in execution. A pretty effective metaphor for the season as a whole. Great central performance and the perfect command of tone in places but also screamingly pretentious and disappointing in others.
Swarm is an intriguing but frustrating viewing experience. Crawling with an effective atmosphere fearsomely supported by a brilliant central performance from Dominic Fishback If this thing had the strength of its convictions it would be an absolute slam dunk. Unfortunately, it’s not a lot more than a screamingly pretentious unbelievably basic exercise on any of the themes it tries to explore. Using a modern but period setting as a clear deflection tactic. Those who get a kick out of streaming series blank checks and Dominique Fishback fans might get something out of this. For everyone else, this is best avoided.
5/10.

The Mandalorian Season 3 Is Strange. (Full Spoilers)

In an ironic twist of fate, this blog has covered all the live-action Disney + Star Wars shows. Except for the one that truly transcends the IP and universe in Andor. The return of Mando and Grogu sparked some truly stupid discourse in comparison Yes the first season of Andor is brilliant. That doesn’t mean that they’re more nuts and bolts entertainment The Mandalorian as a show excelled at its best throughout its first two seasons Can’t also exist It’s perfectly possible to have distinct flavours set in the same universe as long as there is enough separation. This author would argue that’s the case here. With that being said going into this season there was a distinct question of whether Mando would go from here given the reset episodes of Book of Boba Fett felt like contractual obligations followed the story’s natural endpoint and the conclusion of season 2 so Disney executives can sell you more merch. best.Much as there’s a slightly more contact-sensitive set of circumstances going into season 3 Jon Favreau and the creative team deserved a chance in terms of figuring out what the show’s feature is from here. What did they deliver?

For a show with such a distinct formula up until this point, The Mandalorian season 3 is a very odd beast. For its first six episodes, it feels like pretty much exactly what was described in the previous paragraph. Desperately trying several new ideas and different scenarios to shake up the status quo enough to justify more when the show should not have ended last season. There are some mid-level Mando and Grogu adventures. Episodes teeming Din Djarin up with a returning Katie Sackhoff reprising her Bo Katan animated role in live action. Sackhoff has been a reliable supporting player in genre material for years. In a way, it’s nice for her to have carved out a reoccurring role on a show with this much in-built audience. That said when there’s such a clear disparity between her and Pedro Pascal in terms of star power with the latter only having to record voice work this season as opposed to consistently taking her helmet off and clearly being on set for the shoot when her co-star was not. It creates a very odd dynamic. There’s an episode showcasing some more Grogu back story with an extended cameo from
Ahmed Best. This feels like the franchise doing its best to replay him for being the butt of jokes for the last 24 years. There’s an episode that solves its initial premise within the first 10 minutes before turning into a half-baked neo-noir. It features three celebrity cameos two of which come from actors that rank very high on this author’s personal favourites list. Well, it’s nice to see them here they don’t seem to add much greater purpose than additional name value. Most bizarrely there’s an Andor light episode Focusing on the characters and inner workings under Moff Gideon. It’s not hard to see what this one is going for. Unfortunately, this show doesn’t have the character depth or necessary expansion within its side of the universe to pull something like this off with any effectiveness. Then there’s the two-part finale featuring the return of Moff Gideon himself. Pretty strong stuff very much has the feel of being conventionally more of the same. Even if it returns to the rock-solid fundamentals the show had already established. The entire thing is a very odd beast.

That’s before you tack on an ending that once again sets a return to the formula of the first two seasons making all this seemingly random experimentation seem somewhat pointless in retrospect. Like watching a team of writers do their best with the formula they have but ultimately realizing that even in one of the most popular and expansive fictional universes the side of the story they are dealing with only has a certain number of characters and scenarios available to them. We shall wait to see what next season holds.
The Mandalorian season 3 is odd. Well, the weakest of the three seasons by a quite substantial margin its experimentation is intriguing enough in its better moments to say that this season it’s not entirely without some merit. A lot of the runtime feels like corporate-mandated attempts to expand the show’s lifespan with varying levels of success. That’s before the writer’s room clearly decided in setting up the next season that most of that was pointless and reset the material back to the established status quo for a second time. Mando may have been a breath of fresh air out of the gate after the genuine atrocity that was Rise of Skywalker but if this season proves anything it’s that even an attempt to prevent the show from resting on its laurels appears to have simultaneously lost sight of why viewers would be invested in the show in the first place.
6/10.